An inability to follow the rules.
Yes, this would describe me. For example...
Ever since it hit the stores, I’ve been eyeballing the
"Crest Whitestrips Teeth Whitening Strips". I drink a lot of tea
& cola and definitely have had my share of lattes, and thought that my
teeth needed a little boost.
My only problem is that I’ve been too cheap to buy them.
They go on sale for around $35 and I just haven’t been able to bring myself to
fork over the money. So, I bought the whitening toothpaste instead, which
doesn’t seem to really do to much as far as I’m concerned.
Then about a month ago, it arrives. The Sunday paper with a
$7.00 off coupon for Crest Whitestrips! Surely, I have to use this coupon. It’s
good for a month, so I’ll just wait for them to go on sale somewhere & whip
out my coupon. Well, they never went on sale, so 3 days before my coupon
expired, I asked my friend (who works at a local drugstore) if he could get
them at his cost for me & use the coupon. “Yep” he said. Turns out the
total is $28 – which made me particularly gloat when I saw that they went on
sale for $37 yesterday.
I got them from him yesterday when I saw him at church. And
could I wait till I even got home? Nooooooooooo. I flipped open the vanity
mirror in the van – glanced at the instructions (how hard could it be – you
slap them on your teeth) & was on my way to a brighter, whiter me!
The strips look like little bubble-wrap band aids. They are
clear strips that have tons of little dots of whitening gel stuck to them. I
noticed that when I removed the strips off of the backing sheet, that there was
an extra leftover outline of the strip (complete with the whitening gel on it)
on the backing paper. The instructions say to discard this. WHAT?! Discard
perfectly good whitening gel? I think not. In fact, I bet if I cut up those
scraps just right, I can piece them together & use them! Which is exactly
what I did last night! I was able to get a whole extra dose out of those
scraps. [Yes, I have become my grandma!] I figure (with a little effort) I can
extend my 14 day dose to a 28 day dose. Get out those sunglasses kids – mommy’s
going to be flashing some pearly whites!
The pamphlet recommends that you do 2 daily doses, which you
can even do back to back if you want to. After my evening dose (with the
scraps) I thought “Hey! Why not do another dose (a 3rd one) tonight? The more
the merrier! If 2 doses works good, 3 doses will work great!” So, I slapped on
a couple more strips & sat down to watch a movie. They are supposed to be
on for 30 minutes – but I lost track on time & left them on for about 50
minutes. Whoops – I guess that makes 110 minutes for the day instead of 60!
Actually, I got 90 minutes of total whitening time - the instructions (which I
finally read in detail) said you don’t get any extra whitening if you leave
them on longer – but it’s also not dangerous either. I could already see a
little difference last night. My teeth were just slightly whiter. “Wow! If I do
this 3 times a day – I’ll be bright & white in no time at all!”
Flash forward to 3am ...
“OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!” I suddenly woke up in the middle of
the night to my teeth THROBBING!!! It felt like they had been screwed in too
tight! THROB, THROB, THROB...
Then the revelations came... What was that it said in the
instructions booklet? If your teeth experience sensitivity while using the
whitening strips, then cut back to only using them once a day. And I used them
3 times in 1 day?! What was I thinking? Now it makes perfect sense – the more
you use the product, the more chance of sensitivity your teeth may have. If
twice a day can make someone’s teeth sensitive – then 3 times a day probably
isn’t the most intelligent plan! Then I remembered the discussion with my
doctor last week about various weird things that happen in pregnancy – what was
it again? Oh yeah...teeth being more sensitive than usual! As I pondered this,
I gradually managed to fall back to sleep.
6:45am – The first thing I heard were the voices of 3 small
children. The first thing I felt was “THROB, THROB, THROB!” My teeth were still
throbbing. I guess no whitening for me today! I even took some Tylenol which dulled
it from “THROB” to “throb”. Of course I took the Tylenol with what I thought
would be a nice refreshing glass of cold
milk......”AAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!” Apparently when you are
experiencing tooth pain - cold beverages have an effect similar to stabbing a
hypodermic needle directly into your nerve-endings!
It’s now noon
& I’m still throbbing. Although, I don’t know what hurts worse: my teeth or
my pride! I just know that my
by-the-book-always-follow-the-instructions-to-a-tee hubby is going to come home
from work & say “GIRL!! Just follow the directions! That’s why they have
them!” Last night when I put on the 3 set – he just looked at me, “HOW MANY
TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT TODAY?! HAVEN”T YOU ALREADY DONE IT TWICE??”
Sigh, I can’t even count the number of times when I’ve come up with a
“brilliant” idea that has ending in total misfortune (usually mine).
And so she learns yet another valuable life lesson...FOLLOW
THE DIRECTIONS!!!!!!
Addendum:
"Your teeth may become temporarily sensitive when using
Crest Whitestrips. This sensitivity is common with tooth whitening products
containing peroxide and is not harmful." – from instruction manual.
Now there’s a handy tip to be aware of!! That’s probably why
it’s recommended reading before starting the process! I on the other hand
skimmed through the booklet, noticed the page that said “Do not swallow plastic
strips. & Do not get gel material in eyes.” Tossing the thing aside I
thought “Now how STUPID do they think people are?! Sheesh!”
