Snap: to break by excessive force or pressure

I have gone nuts.



I mean - "cart her away, give her a pretty white coat and lock her up" kind of nuts.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw one. It ran across the room and behind the fireplace.

THIS. WAS. WHEN. I. SNAPPED.

I have just beaten the total crap out of our fireplace with a poker stick while screaming death threats at it and all of it's offspring. I then proceeded to go downstairs and beat the crap out of our laundry room with the same poker stick looking for it's nest.

I now have Hubby's hard rock music blasting (which I normally despise but conveniently matches my mood tonight) and I am on the warpath. I do believe I will be crossing all socially acceptable boundaries to dig out that nest tonight. An intervention would seem appropriate about now...

Those tricky Canadians!

First, an update...

No rats caught last night. I did notice that they frequented the kitchen in hopes of a treat - but to no avail! Every crumb is locked up tight - except of course for the little treat we left you smack dab in the middle of the Rat Master 2000! Ok, no more rat talk for the moment...back into denial *waves hand to dismiss rat thoughts*

Last night Hubby and I were sitting on the couch & he was flipping channels looking for something to watch. He stopped on a Canadian channel that was showing speed skating. He paused and said "You know - the Canadians have such better coverage of the Olympics."

*blink*

"Um, yes honey they do! In fact they have SUCH good coverage that they are airing them a week before they even start!! Talk about being on the ball!!!"

*Insert long irritated stare from Hubby*

"Well, how am I supposed to know that's not the Olympics?! They are racing around in jumpsuits - it all looks the same!"

He does amuse me!

Die, devil rats...DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, the devil rats stole food out of the center of a sticky-glue rat trap last night and managed to elude capture. Trust me to be the one to have Mission Impossible rats! I'm just invisioning that scene out of MI where they tie Tom Cruise to a pulley system and lower him into that room. Stupid, sneaky CIA-trained rats! Well, bring it on my little rat-nemises because 2 can play that game!! You want a rat trap? Oh, I'll give you a rat trap!!



It slices, it dices...introducing the RAT-MASTER2000:

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What one trap alone cannot accomplish - 9 traps can handle! I have drawn a line in the sand basement and I challenge any rat brave enough to cross it, to do so! "Smell the bagel...it taunts you. Come try to eat me little devil rat...I dare you!!" Yes, I am officially cracking up!! *as in mentally - not humorously! Ok...perhaps both* SO HELP ME if we don't have a large rodent stuck to this in the morning!!!

Sat night was awful! I was gone all evening with the kids at a friend's house (Hubby was still on the retreat). I got home around 10:30pm and the stairs leading up to the kids' room had a TON of rat droppings on it not to mention they were in MY bedroom and the kitchen as well. I swear, they must've had some party that night! They haven't been getting into any of my food (because it is all locked up tight) so I think they were desperately searching. "Here's a tip - how's about you go searching down the street at the Chinese restaurant on the corner!" As I was putting tired crying kids to bed - Hubby arrived home from the retreat completely SICK!! He had come down with a sore throat before he left but it was now full-blown complete with severe headache, chills, sore throat, aches & pain, and nausea. Did I mention he had to be at church by 7am the next morning and preach his VERY 1st Sunday morning sermon for 2 services?! Yikes! He raided the medicine cabinet and headed for bed. I prayed & prayed that God would give him good rest and hold back the sickness - if only just to make it through the sermons!

I woke up the next morning to find that the rats had found my brand new package of blueberry bagels! I had them 4 feet off the ground. Apparently they were hard at work with their pulley-system again! We seriously need to make friends with a benevolent exterminator - sheesh!

Hubby did great on Sunday morning. I swear the man had been healed - not one iota of any sign of sickness! It was interesting - I hadn't seen him teach in almost 6 years because the last time we taught together was when we were teaching a marriage enrichment class in 2000. Since then he has taught at: a men's retreat, men's bible studies, youth group & a bible college - but I was never able to attend any of those - so it had been a long time since I'd heard him teach. It was neat to see how much he has grown in his teaching abilities, I was really impressed! He used to seem a lot more nervous & unsure of himself & this time he seemed like he was "shooting the breeze" with friends. Very relaxed, very sure of himself, very happy to be there. It felt more like he was just explaining what he had learned from the bible to some friends. Anyway, I was very blessed by it! And I was VERY proud he didn't make any pulpit faux paus like Blake:

http://media.right-mind.us/right-mind/Blake

And NO...oddly enough he DIDN'T teach on Sodom & Gommorah!! *heh*

I am now off to bed because I am now sick with Hubby's cold/flu/whatever. It started last night & by this morning it was full-blown. Did I mention I'm someone who NEVER gets sick?! What is the deal with me this year?!?!?! But, I need to get sleep because tomorrow is Tuesday - and Tuesdays are my Mondays (since Hubby is off on Mondays).

Every Tuesday the kids are PERSONALLY offended that Hubby goes back to work and that they are stuck with me, chores, and homeschool. Pray that we catch rats tonight - the whole dang gang of them. I would be more than happy to load them all up in a garbage bag & drive over them a couple of times in the van...

But what a week it has been...

Monday – We spent the day in domestic violence court with a family member that is going through a difficult divorce. It was emotionally EXHAUSTING!!

Tuesday – Woke up and shortly thereafter discovered rat feces next to my breadbox in the kitchen. *enter despair* Rat feces. This means there is more than one rat. *re-enter rodent problem* The news of more rat purgatory combined with my raging hormones sent me spiraling toward total emotional breakdown.

~3 hours later~

I’m sitting at the dining room table…



---CRASH! SHATTER!---

Zane playing baseball meets kitchen plate glass window:

My response? Sobbing. More sobbing. Still more sobbing. Zane was devastated! He apologized for hours – in fact he is STILL apologizing! I lost ALL coping mechanisms at that very moment. I couldn’t get a hold of Hubby because he was in a staff meeting and his phone was turned off so I just sobbed. Obviously the hormones and all of the emotions from the previous day and my “rat issues” were coming to a head. But the biggest window in the house? Could you have chosen a smaller *cheaper* one? Or perhaps you could have not pitched the ball TOWARD the house like we have told you E-VER-Y day for the past 22 months?! Just a thought.

Before:

After:

Currently:

“Welcome to the ghetto, I'm Natalie and I’ll be your tour guide. Notice the lovely wood grain of the windows…”

We are still “looking at our window options”. Didn’t want to rush in & spend hundreds without shopping around. Besides, we wanted a chance to “wow” our neighbors with our classy decorating skills!

I kept trying to call Hubby to no avail and then got the brilliant idea to try to instant message him. MSN instant messenger has a “voice clip” feature that blares your voice recordings throught the computer speakers. Maybe if I yelled loud enough into the voice clip, he would be able to hear me from his meeting.

“HONEY!! IT’S ME…CALL ME ASAP!!”

“ARE YOU THERE?!!”

“ZANE BROKE THE KITCHEN WINDOW – CALL ME ASAP!!!”

I’m sure my frantic comments blaring out of his computer were highly conducive to his meeting!

When he finally got my messages he called me and it was pretty obvious that this news was merely adding to an already overwhelming day for him. There was NO way he was going to be able to come home early to help me with the window AND he had to be at the 1^st bible study (to run it) of the new year at 6:30pm. Then he mentioned “Is there any way that you can keep the kids home with you tonight? It’s just going to be too crazy on the first night to have them there and keep track of them.” No really, that’s fine. I’ll just knock over a Prozac-prescribing pharmacy between now and then.

Thus entered my Tuesday night of self-medicating television. “Hey kids, guess what? Comatose-Mommy is so incapacitated that she can’t even cook you a bowl of Captain Crunch so let’s order pizza” *insert screams of glee* “…aaaaand because I’m so far gone – you all get to sit on the couch with me for 2 hours past bedtime and mock people who think they can sing…but can’t!! Welcome to the world of “American Idol”! See that guy right there…DON’T ever do that!!” Wasn’t Hubby surprised to arrive home to find THAT scene at 9:40pm?!

Wednesday – Day of emotional funk.

12:30am – Enter “The Discovery”. Right before I was going to go to bed I went downstairs to grab a loaf of bread out of the freezer for lunches the next day. I decided to throw in a load of laundry while I was down there and to my horror – realized my laundry room had been invaded and transformed into the “Rat Lair”. A whole lotta poop and a whole lotta destruction of goods. The Dach’s tee from Maui…chewed right through, not too mention these discoveries:

My purse. It ATE my purse. My purse. And do you recognize the Dragon head? Of course you don’t…BECAUSE THEY ATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the one I spent 15 hours creating out of paper mache for Georgia’s Chinese birthday party a couple of years back. Apparently we won’t be hanging it for Chinese New Year… There was a massive pile of dragon “dust” with 2 silver horns sitting on top. I cannot even begin to describe the loathing and malice I have for these little beasts now. Did I once cry? Did I actually cry over the fact that Hubby killed one of these evil creatures? I now have fantasies of driving a stake though their blackened wicked little hearts. WE HAVE RATS AND THEY ARE DESTROYING MY STUFF!!!!!!!



Here is what Mr. Dragon Head used to look like in all his glory:

Thursday – Tried alternative form of self-medication…Ikea. Ooh, ooh - I know, I know!! I’ll spend $10 in gas driving 30 miles for 1 hour of free childcare! Brilliant. I went with some equally hormonally-charged-plus-depressed-by-their-circumstances girlfriends (and their kids). All was fine till we had to pick the kids up from the childcare and take them to the restaurant area. Nothing like taking your children out in public to highlight your parenting failures. Come one, come all – scrutinize my over-tired children. Really – nothing could improve my state of mind more than being judged by people who have no idea what kind of crappy week I’ve had!!!

*apparently there’s a hot button there*

So, that was my week. Nothing life-threatening, nothing that can’t be solved in some way or another. But everything completely emotionally exhausting. I told Hubby that I feel like I've been hit with so many arrows this week that I'm just lying on the ground, bleeding out - gasping "help!" Add to the fact that I’ve been trying to solely take care of the kids while Hubby has been working on studying for/writing his sermon every single night this week until 2am and I’m SO ready for a break. Like, a long one. Perhaps a week or more. I’d also take a massage, hot tub, shopping spree etc…

Where were YOU at 2:03am on the nite of the 22nd...?!

Dear Person who invented waterproof cameras,

Please hurry up and invent a waterproof laptop so I can sit in my relaxing candlelit bathtub while surfing the internet.

Lazily Yours,

Natalie

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Maytag Man,

My son has a new pair of reversible sports pants that are pale blue on one side and dark navy blue on the other side. The tag says "wash with like colors". Please explain.

Confusedly Yours,

Natalie

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Claim Jumper restaurant staff,

Would it be possible to just order a normal "human-sized" amount of food and just pay a reasonable price for it? I really don't need a cheeseburger that will feed 3 people and it is just a cheeseburger after all - $12 seems a little excessive no matter HOW much meat you slap on it. Also - have you ever considered just adding antacid directly to the recipe? It would certainly eliminate the middle man.

Thoroughly stuffed,

Natalie

~~~~~~~~~~

~aside~



Georgia just came downstairs and looked around the living room and then announced accusingly "You've got the TV on, you're playing on the computer, you are eating junk food AND you are drinking a frappuccino!!!" *and you are out of your bed because...* "This is what I do when you go to bed...everything I tell you that you can't: ALL AT ONCE!! It's all part of my diabolical parenting plan! Now go back to bed so I can rollerskate in the house while eating a lollypop!!!"

~end aside~

So, here's a freebie for ya...

Not a myth: metal in the microwave equals fireworks. When you open the large "several pound container" of honey from Costco, make sure you peel off ALL of the foil seal should your honey thicken up like cement at some point and need to be softened in the microwave. One second I'm softening honey - the next second my microwave is flashing more lights than a disco on Saturday night! Oops.

Ok - so before I write about this week I have to go back to last Saturday...

Remember when our mouse ate my Three Musketeers bar? Well, he didn't come back after that. As in - absolutely no sign of him. Vanished. We had invested in these large sticky glue traps and there they sat day after day. A week went by...nothing. Then on day 12 (last Saturday)...

2:03am - "CLACK! CLACK, CLACK! CLACK!"

Me - "Honey, wake up!! Do you hear that?"

"CLACK! CLACK, CLACK! CLACK!"

Hubby - "It's just the kids roller skating." *he said groggily*

Me - "HONEY!!! WAKE UP!!!! There is something in the house!"

He laid there for a moment, listening. "CLACK! CLACK, CLACK! CLACK!"

Then he bolted upright, "THE MOUSE!!!"

We both leaped out of bed, ran into the kitchen and flicked the light on:

"THERE YOU ARE - YOU LITTLE DEVIL RAT!!! WELCOME TO YOUR DEMISE!!!!"

He was stuck fast & hopping all over the kitchen CLACK! CLACK! CLACK! "HA! We got him!!" hubby shouted. Which he quickly followed with, "OH, CRAP! I have to KILL it now!" *Sorry honey, what was that? I didn't hear you - I'm too busy photographing our house guest: "A little to the left please. Ok, now chin up - hold it, aaaaaand PERFECT!"*

As you can tell from the photo - our little mouse turned out to be more of a rat! That tail just screams "earthworm" to me. Poor Hubby! "What am I going to DO with that thing?! It's going to bite me!!"



~aside~

I'm sitting here listening to Jay Leno's stand-up bit and he just told this true story about a guy who found a mouse in his house and threw it into a bonfire in his yard. Then the mouse caught on fire, and ran BACK into his house and the whole house burned to the ground!! Note to self - don't throw mouse in bonfire.

~end aside~

Hubby had grabbed a plastic garbage bag and I suggested that hubby pick up the trap with the bar-b-que tongs. Unfortunately, he didn't get a good grip on the trap with the tongs and it flipped upsidedown on the floor. At which point - the rat's face became superimposed to the trap! This was about the time the rat became completely pissed. He began to make some extremely freakish sounds and frantically chew at the trap.

*Tip of the day: don't chew on a glue trap, it will only make matters worse.*

Hubby finally got a good grip on the trap & tried to throw it into the garbage bag. But, because it was a GLUE trap it was rather sticky - it got stuck about 12 inches from the opening of the bag. The rat was totally thrashing around at this point. I *being racked with hormones and never mind that it was after 2am* began to tear up at the idea of killing something furry.

"Honey, we can't kill it. People have these as pets, it's like killing someone's hamster!" Hubby gave me the "oh-dear-hormonal-woman-please-don't-go-down-this-road-right-now-because-I-AM-going-to-destroy-this-little-spawn-of-Satan" look. Through sniffles I suggested, "Well *sniff* maybe you could suck the air out of the bag & suffocate him. That might be semi-humane?"

And I quote "I AM NOT GOING TO SUCK RAT-AIR OUT OF A GARBAGE BAG!!!!!" And with that - he marched outside with it.......total silence..............WHAM!..........WHAM!..............WHAM!.........more silence..........

"It's done."

I was now full-on bawling. "We killed a furry animal. I am an accomplice to killing a furry animal!" Sweet Hubby tried to console me: "It was evil. It ate your candy." We went back to bed. "So, ...um.......how did you..uh...kill it?" "Let's just say that I found a REALLY big log in the woodpile." Ew. Hubby's first "bludgeoning" experience. Right as I was drifting back to sleep (somewhere around 2:30am) Hubby announces "Well, I'm really wide awake!!!" Poor guy had to be up 4 hours later. He is now known at church as "Rat Slayer". Whew - finally after a month of trying to catch that thing...our rodent problem was finally gone - or WAS it...?

"Crazy Mommy..."

While listened to Ray Charles and performing my own interpretation of "The Jitterbug" in our living room, I overheard my 6 year old very earnestly ask Hubby the following:








"If I have a Daddy that is a Pastor how come I have a crazy Mommy?"







The question of the ages! I'm sure hubby asks himself that every day...

I fell off the wagon...

Dear Diary -
I must confess that I have fallen off the wagon. I was doing SO well. I was in total remission for 72 whole hours. I was making such progress and then the thoughts started coming back "Just 10 more boxes". I tried to dismiss them - I really did.  It started out small: "I'll just swing by and grab another stack of ads - just in case. Then as I found myself cutting the coupons out - "these aren't for ME, I'll just give them away at church on Sunday so someone else can get such a deal!"  I really talked myself into believing that.

But .40 cents each? How could I resist that?!?! When would I ever find such an offer again? I HAD to act on it. I suddenly found myself back at Albertson's. "Just 10 more boxes, and I'll only get the granola bars - they don't take up hardly any space anyway. I won't get cereal - I have plenty...well, maybe just a couple of boxes." 10 turned into 20 which turned into 30 which ultimately turned into 50. Last night I bought 50 more boxes.

I'm an addict!!  *hangs head in shame*

I do believe it is a disease. It blurs the line between "deal" and "excess". I may need an intervention soon. There are still 2 more days left of the sale and I have a purseful of coupons...

Fully Stocked,
Desperately Needs Intervention

TO DATE:
61 boxes of cereal
28 boxes of granola bars
11 boxes of oatmeal products

Our basement now has a "corridor of breakfast provisions". Quite literally. Sure - you mock me, but I purchased 100 boxes of various breakfast items for $40. My total savings...? $332 Who -on planet earth- could resist this wonderment of savings? The shocker was that the checker at Albertson's challenged my fistful of coupons and tried to ban me from using them. "I'm sorry sir, you know not the forces in which you dare to stand against!" He finally relented when I stood my ground and people starting piling up behind me in line but he totally treated me like I was running some sort of a scam. "Yes, I'm getting a great deal - but in a perfectly legitimate way. Why should you care that I'm utilizing coupons - which BTW happen to be legal? Do you get a percentage of your store's daily sales?" Albertson's will be receiving "a letter"...

Crud - it's now 1am ------AGAIN-------  Will I EVER go to bed at a decent hour?! Maybe tomorrow night when I will be sleeping in my ~~NEW~~ bed. It arrives tomorrow! Yippee!!

BTW - Wasn't "24" good tonight?!?! Man, I love that show. I was so stressed during those first 5 minutes I just about peed my pants!! Ok - to bed I go...

COUPONS ARE MY CRACK!!!

I'm a coupon girl - you know that. Before I buy anything online I always google for a coupon code for the site I'm purchasing from...just in case. I have spent countless hours clipping coupons and driving from store to store to score those "great deals". Today I have hit coupon-topia!

Let me explain:

Albertson's weekly sale (that just started today) had a deal where if you purchase 10 Quaker products for $15 - you'd get $5 off at the register. This included several kinds of cereal/instant oatmeal/granola bars. Then I spied in the QFC grocery ad - a manufacturers coupon for $3 off any combo of 5 Quaker products.

*BLINK*

Can I use that coupon at Albertsons?!?! WHY, YES I CAN!!!

So, I took a little jaunt down to QFC & picked up about a dozen copies of their weekly ad & collected my coupons!

No, no, no...I don't think you realize the scope of this. Let's do the math:

The final price on the cereal/instant oatmeal/granola bars at Albertsons is $1.00 each. But whip out those $3 off 5 items coupons and the final cost of each item...?
 

.40 cents

.40 cents for a box of Captain Crunch, Life, Cinnamon Life, Box of Granola Bars etc...

Care to see the booty? *no, not my booty*

I give to you...savings!

30 boxes of cereal, 15 boxes of granola bars, 5 boxes of Instant Oatmeal

The price you ask?

$20.00

I kid you not! 50 boxes of cereal & granola bars for $20. *licks receipt* The checker just stood there shaking his head while I squealed "FOR-TEE CENTS A BOX BABY!!!!!!!!!!!" I really did - much to my hubby's humiliation!

I bought some other stuff that was on super-sale (with coupons of course) and my grand total was $31.83.

But check out my savings...

$169.61

The checker actually turned to the 4 people behind me & announced my savings in a loud voice! "Your total savings is..." *turns & raises voice*

"One hundred sixty nine dollars and sixty one cents!!" 

Sadly, no one besides me applauded. *Rolls Eyes. "Oh, good grief people the coupons took 2 minutes out of your day shape up & be happy for someone else! And by the way, if you hate standing behind me in line - go use the self-checkout. *Really...It's. Not. That. Hard.* " I was so grabby for the receipt that the guy accidently ripped it in half by trying to take it out too soon! He asked if I wanted a new one to which hubby said "No. We'll be just fine without it!"

*WHAT?!*

"Actually I need it because I need to take a picture of it!!" *she said gleefully* "Okaaaaaay..." Needless to say, he printed me another receipt. Poor hubby - I am somewhat surprised that he even dares to enter a grocery store with me anymore...

HA!! See my receipt?!?!
*dances "shoo-be-doo-be-I-rock-the-house"*

Well, I have to go watch LOST now. While I eat a .2 cent bowl of cereal. And perhaps a .4 cent granola bar. Forget the "Candy Man" - move over Willy Wonka, make way for the "Cereal Mom".

To the tune of Candy Man:

Who can take a coupon?
Sprinkled with a sale
Cover it in savings
& a miracle grocery tale

The cereal mom
The cereal mom can
The cereal mom can because she scoops up all the sales and makes your breakfast so cheap!

No news from Mouseville...

I just tried to go to silverjewelryclub.com and I got this message:

"The request cannot be processed at this time. The amount of traffic exceeds the Web site's configured capacity. "

That's like telling me I can't have a cookie..."But NOW I WANT a cookie!"

 I was only casually checking that website until I "couldn't" access it - now I'm obsessively refreshing it until I can get on it! "Why is it so busy? What glorious piece of jewelry are they offering that I'm missing out on??"

*sigh*

 It's exhausting being this neurotic.

No luck with catching the mouse yet. There hasn't been ANY sign of him since the candy bar incident. Perhaps eating your body weight in chocolate is somewhat filling. Maybe tonight he'll be back. Hubby is lying in wait for him. He is this ->.<- close to setting up surveillance cameras in the kitchen - I kid you not! Ever seen the movie "Mouse Trap"? Yes, well - welcome to "Mouse Trap Part Deux". Personally I'm this->.<- close to purchasing this:

The Electronic Rat Trap
 

Perhaps a kabillion volts of electricity pulsing through its little body would be effective. I know, I know - we have kids, we can't have this sitting around...*sigh* After three weeks, the peanut butter thing just doesn't seem to be working.

OOOH - silverjewelryclub is finally loading...oh good grief, nothing worth buying!

Dear Silverjewelryclub.com,

STOP WITH THE CITRINE! And quit combining colors together that only a blind grandmother would wear. Please bring back the cute jewelry.

Signed,

Annoyed

Hmn. It seems as though I had something extremely riveting to say................perhaps not.

Oh, I need to write this down for ammunition in future years:

The other night hubby says to Zane "You mom is the smartest mom in the whole world!!" *thanks honey*

Zane "No she's not." *very matter of factly*

*blink*

Hubby "Oh REALLY?! Then who is?"

Zane "Mrs. _____."   *and with 'DUH' in his tone*   "She's the PASTOR'S wife!!!"

Fascinating conclusion.

Of course I (in true 3rd grade playground fashion) said "OH YEAH?! Well, I'm the ASSISTANT PASTOR'S wife!!" *ha - take that!*

Always advisable to justify yourself to a 6 year old...

"If you give a mouse a 3 Musketeers bar..."

Welcome to another episode of "Match the Animal to the Fecal Droppings!!" Ok, contestants - test your skills on the following evidence:

If you said "Spawn of Satan"...you are CORRECT!!!!!!

There is a mouse in my house. I fear it may be contagious because Kemma was only in my house for 5 minutes & now she has a mouse in her house too! *Sorry, Kemma*

We discovered it's "calling card" a couple of days before Christmas (and can I just point out the fact that it pooped right next to my toaster?!?! My toaster. Where I prepare food. *shudder*) It has now successfully popped 7 traps and gotten away with all the food. We have been doing a little research on "stepping it up a bit" but the final straw came this morning when I woke up to find it ate my "3 Muskateers" candy bar.   

IT. IS. ON. NOW. PUNK!!

Dude - nibbling on scraps is one thing...but my CHOCOLATE BAR?!?! So, hubby is launching "Phase 2" tonight...I'll keep you posted...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news...

Here is a picture of the new dresser in daylight (looks much better) and in the girls' room:

And...photoshop IS my friend! After taking this photo I kept thinking it would look great in black & white with just the lights in color. Although it took painstakingly long to do it - here's the result:

Dumber than a stump...

Dumber than a stump.

This is my new favorite phrase. The phrase came up during a lively game of "Imaginiff..." ( my new favorite boardgame) I tried several times to use the phrase in a sentence today - but being that it was a church day, it was difficult to find the right opportunity:

"Hello Parishioner Nellie-Sue! Why, you're looking dumber than a stump today!"

See what I mean?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of church...here's me this morning:

Set alarm for 8am while thinking "this will give me 1 1/2 hours to get everyone ready & out the door in time for 1st service".

8:15am: I was laying in bed contemplating getting up when Georgia came in & asked "Shouldn't we be getting ready for church now?" Yeah, yeah..

8:40am: hubby calls from church [he has to be there by 7am] "Are you coming to 1st service?" "Yep - I've still got 2 kids sleeping, but I'll make it."

9:00am: Waking up the 2 sleepers "Come on - we have to leave in 30 minutes!"

9:20am: I jump in the shower thinking "I can shower in 3 minutes and throw my clothes on & blow dry for 5 minutes. We can still be on time"

Rush, rush, rush...race, race, race...

9:40am: Hand each child a frozen Go-gurt and a ziploc of dry stale Batman cereal. "No time for beverages - just swallow your spit...!"

9:53am: "AAAACCCKKK!!! Where are your shoes?!?! Church starts in 7 minutes! It takes 7 minutes to get there!!! DO THE MATH!!!"

10:05am: Pulling out of driveway

10:14am: Parking at church. "RUN!!!! We are only 14 minutes late - run to your classes, I'm right behind you!"

10:19am: Friend in lobby of church: "Where's Georgia?" Me: "Oh I sent her to class - I'm on my way to check her in." Friend: "For 10 minutes?!" Me: "What?" Friend, "Why are you checking her in now?" Me, "Um,hello - 1st service!" (This was when my husband -who had been watching this conversation- interjected) Hubby: "Honey, service is ending in 10 minutes!" Me: *irritated* "What is the MATTER with you?! I am only 15 minutes late!!!" Hubby: "It is now 10:20am. Ist service starts at 9:00am. 9:00am...as in 1 hour and 20 minutes ago!!!" Me: *long confused pause while staring at watch hubby bought me for Christmas* "OHHHH...1st service starts at 9am. 2nd service starts at 11am. Yes...............I'm very late... VERY, VERY late..." *I swear if I didn't know me - I'd think I was on drugs...*

Then the light clearly dawned...Me: "I'M 45 MINUTES EARLY FOR 2ND SERVICE! I COULD HAVE STOPPED AT STARBUCKS!!!!!!!!!"

Perhaps I'M dumber than a stump...

[To further magnify my stupidity, let's all take a moment to remember that my husband WORKS for the church. Perhaps you'd think I'd be a little more clued in to what time we have our church services. Obviously, I'm stuck in a rift in the space-time continuum...]

Thank you Craig's List...

Thank you Craig's List - you ARE my new best friend.

"What I love about my new best friend" - by Photo Mommy

"What I love about my new best friend is that I always find really cool stuff for really cheap there. The End."

Am I the only one who is positively obsessed with Craig's List? Although - I think I'm perhaps perpetually obsessed with whatever "new interesting fad" happens to enter my life! I have been looking for a dresser for the girls room for several months now - since -on a daily basis- the bottoms of 3 out of 6 of Georgia's current dresser drawers fall out. This would be the ONLY dresser that we own that we actually bought new. Thank you Ikea - for your lack of superior construction and constant use of thin crappy cardboard-like material. Please stand with me now & blow a kiss goodbye to the $150 wasted on that dresser. *sigh*

Goal:  Sturdy but cute solid wood dresser.
Price Range:  Free - $40

Solution...?

Craigs List: $40

But wait...when I ever been known to just leave well enough alone? Paint anyone?

Hmmnn...the nightime flash doesn't do it justice. I'll have to remember to take a pic of it during the day. I am quite happy with it! This is one solid piece of furniture. Apparently (I was told) this is the original style - not the cheaper Sears knock-off. I will now obsess myself with locating a matching tall dresser - No-Doz anyone...?

But wait - there's more...

Hubby & I have been wanting to get a new queen size bedframe for oh, at least 3 or more years now. But, I wanted to get something that would last A GOOD LONG TIME. Not like the rickety "watch-out-I-just-might-crash-to-the-floor-at-any-given-moment" bedframe we have now. I'm NOT kidding. Free tip of the day - It is unadvisable to impulsively purchase a metal bedframe off of QVC. LOOKS like iron...yet ISN'T iron. It's cute [well, it was before the kids climbed over the footboard 200 times too many & snapped it right off] as long as you don't actually touch it. So, with a special thanks to a Christmas bonus and an impending tax-refund...I give you - my bedroom make-over:

Officially known as the "Cape Cod II" bed frame.

OOH...AHH...

For months I've been trying to figure out how to scoop this little treasure up despite it's spendy price tag (generally $650 - $900 online). I finally found a website that had it for $618 (all said and done) which was still very high for what we were able to spend. And then (on a whim in a stroke of genious) I checked EBAY. Lo & behold there was a company selling it -brand new- for $299! Yeehaw - yip yip yip!! Shipping is $150 *ouch* but the total is still almost $200 less than the cheapest place I could find. It will be here by the end of the week. Let's hope it's all I'm hoping it is! Hubby caught me eyeballing the $300 matching dresser...yeah, that'd be a NO!

Notice the minimal sharp "child-goose-egg-causing" corners on it. That's me - always thinking ahead...

*sigh of contentment...*

So what started out as my own personal mission to get the Christmas stuff taken down & put away by Valentine's Day turned into an 11 hour cleaning/rearrainging/purging a-thon. This would be my day yesterday. Wouldn't have been quite so bad if I'd started before 2pm!

I am quite happy now - my front room is KA-LEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Here are photos of my handiwork:

The living room:

The dining room:
 

The corner of the dining room:

Notice how there is not one piece of kid crap paper visible anywhere?!!

We moved the computer into the dining room (from our bedroom) and completely organized everything in the credenza. So now I think it'll be a little more homeschool friendly.

The kids got up this morning and immediately covered the table with art stuff. -grr-  But, I policed them into cleaning it it all up...

Affectionately yours...

3 year old quote of the day:

"Mom, kiss me like we're married!!"

Oh my! Perhaps hubby and I should tone down the displays of affection...