FYE-NA-LEE!!!

From June 4th - June 25th I kept bouncing around the same dang pound! For 3 weeks - "minus 19 lbs" "minus 20 lbs" "Oops, minus 19 lbs again" "back to minus 20 again".

Not that I was trying too hard. I was eating healthy but not super-de-duper hard core dieting small amounts. Anyway - FINALLY as of this morning I had lost ---->21.5 <---- lbs! Hooray!

The 2nd (6 week long) weight loss contest ended yesterday and miracle of miracles...I won again! [The person to lose the most weight in 6 weeks wins $20 from each of the other dieters.] I was totally thinking I had lost this one with only losing 7 pounds during the 6 weeks - but my dear friend apparently ate a little too much cake at her hubby's birthday party. So, once again I get to go guilt-free shopping (well, $40 worth anyway)! We gotta get a contest with at least 10 people going, then I'd really be motivated if the prize were $200 or more!

We usually take a break for a week or 2 between contests and I tend to breathe a sigh of relief and slack between the contests. Not gain anything - but not lose anything either. Just when I was about to feel slack yesterday - we rented the movie "Supersize Me". Alrighty then...I'll be continuing to eat healthy! I'm feeling a lot more justified that I cut chicken nuggets out of the kids diet a couple of months back. Um, yuck!

5.5 more pounds and I'm going to get my hair foiled at a ritzy salon. I told myself I had to get back to my post-partem weight to earn a foil. Then I wouldn't give up too soon. I have over $100 saved in my "tip jar" that I plan to put towards it. Yes - I figure if Starbucks can have a tip jar - so can I! Hey, if people are willing to pay $4 for a cup of coffee and then slap down a tip on top of that - my tipping odds should be even better with all of the FREE services I provide in this house!! If Mommy makes a particularly good dinner - why not reward her!?

Anyway - nothing thrilling here. I just had to document my progress...

Time to get crackin' on the laundry, 4 days till we leave for Montana. YIPEE!!!!!

I'll have a 13-hours-alone-with-the-kids on the rocks...

To all of my dear girlfriends whose husbands work looooooong hours or travel on business trips:

my most sincere condolances.

Eric is working late tonight *checks watch* - probably VERY late. Because the church is in the process of buying a building - they are having an external audit done as part of the loan requirements. This week, the audit has landed square in Eric's lap! He has a kajillion things to go over, print out, prepare, compile etc... and have ready to present to the auditor by Tuesday. So, he and the bookeeper are working till the wee hours tonight getting everything ready. I didn't know this was happening until about 2pm this afternoon, so my brain had trouble grinding to a halt and shifting into single-parent mode for the evening.

I tell ya - the challenging side of homeschooling is the 24/7 aspect. Perhaps if my kids had a 6 hour "break" from the house 5 days a week, my eye would twitch a little less and you wouldn't find me muttering to myself and rocking on the front porch at 5:32pm frantically dialing Eric's cell phone: "Where are you?!?! What did you do - STOP FOR GAS?!?! I'm dying here!!"

Yep, I'm a wimp. But at least I embrace it, people!

~aside~

Maisie's toy giraffe and Dach's toy elephant are currently having a loud and heated discussion about the fact that the giraffe has a "licking" problem and needs to keep it's tongue to itself.

Don't. Even. Want. To. Know.

~end aside~

Why, yes - it it 8:33pm and my children should be in bed right now. Unfortunately all of my "corraling them to bed" energy was depleted prematurely by a 1 1/2 hour shopping trip at Ross today that was about 1 1/2 hours too long. Don't you wish you were the cashier ringing up 5 separate transactions for my family (4 of which were paid for with inordinate amounts of loose coins) while 8 people waited impatiently behind us? I'm sure the voices will still be ringing in her head as she falls asleep tonight:

"I HAVE FIVE DOW-ERS!! I'M GOING TO BUY THIS WIF MY FIVE DOW-ERS!! FIVE DOW-ERS IS A WOT!!! WANNA SEE MY FIVE DOW-ERS???????"

I bought myself a cute new wallet to take the edge off...

Maybe I should hire a sitter to come and put the kids to bed tonight. Never mind...I'd have to load them all up in the car to go get the sitter. Maybe I should just give them each some melatonin while they are playing and see how long it takes before they just curl up next to their toys and drift off...

Did I mention that I feel an accute case of PMS coming on and I ate my weight in baked Cheetos today...?

Unfortunately, phase 2 of the weight loss contest ends in about 60 hours and I've only lost 7 pounds this round. But I only have 1 person who is neck-and-neck with me. I hear she is at a birthday party tonight. I can only hope she's eating a nice big piece of chocolate birthday cake...

Um yeah, about the Cheetos...I forgot to eat lunch and was driving in the car about 3:30pm when I realized I was starving and the 36 power bars I bought for just such occasion were at home in the cupboard. Ah, but I have this bag of organic, baked, knock-off cheetos - at only 130 calories per serving...

~2 miles worth of bickering children later~

Hmmnn, I think half a bag should be good. Apparently, I ate about 500 calories worth of cheetos. Oops...

I did have a stroke of brilliance this week though. I have been tricking myself at bedtime! *she announced proudly* With my unschooled, unscientific mind - I determined that if I ate apple slices before bed, my metabolism would speed up during my sleep to try to digest all of that fiber and end up burning more calories than the apple was worth - thereby actually causing me to LOSE more weight! Brilliant, I know! Perhaps I should eat 10 or 11 apples before bed tonight to off-set those cheetos...

Addendum:

The crap that they didn't need toys they bought at Ross?

Dach: Some sort of whiffle ball and basket catch game. One more thing to chase out into the street...

Zane: A "radio controlled" plane that merely revs while sitting on the floor doing nothing, instead of becoming airborne like he thought it would. Even if you drop it from a very high place. *shakes head*

The Girls: They wised up and pooled their money to get a "lesser" crappy toy. 4 rubber toy animals that come with a painting kit: "Paint and Play". When Maisie got home & tried to open the red paint, it exploded in her face and she was literally dripping red paint from her eye, mouth and hair.

*note to self: THIS is her new painting shirt*

"FWY" paranoia

Every day Dach asks me to wipe him after he poops. I told him the cutoff is age 5. He has 4 more months of wiping assistance then he's on his own.

With that said...the other day I heard the standard yell from the bathroom "MOM-MY!!!! I need you to wipe me!" Now normally as soon as he yells that - he leaps off of the toilet, bends over, and grabs his ankles to wait. But this time he was standing straight up looking very nervous.

"What's wrong, Buddy?"

"Do fwys eat poop?"

"Do flies eat poop? Um, I think so. I don't know if they eat it - but they sure do like to land in it!"

"Oh."

I tried to wipe him, but the boy was standing there completely still and would not bend over.

"Could you please bend over - I can't wipe you when you are standing straight up like that."

"Um..."

"If I bend over will a fwy go in my butt and eat my poop?!?!"

No buddy they won't. I'll protect you...

Gowls wike boys wifout showts...

Last Friday I told Dach to go get dressed. He reappeared a few minutes later wearing just a pair of jeans.

"Dude, that's HALF dressed. Where's the rest of your clothes?"

"Gowls wike boys wifout showts" [translation: Girls like boys without shirts.]

"OH REALLY!! What KIND of girls like boys without shirts?!?!"

"I'm not gonna tew you, you'll waf at me!"

"I won't laugh, just tell me."

"Ok.................................immodest gowls."

*stiffle laugh*

"Do you really want immodest girls to like you because you aren't wearing a shirt?"

"Ohhhhhhhhh!........No."

And with that he ran back into his room and put on a shirt.

Oh to be a 4 year old...

Georgia the Activist...

Apparently, a couple of weeks ago while I was gone at our Women's Retreat - Georgia had a little altercation with Eric. So the story goes...

She was concered that the squirrels (in the woods behind our house) were hungry, so she got a bunch of food (mostly nuts) from the kitchen and threw it all over the forest. Eric told her that we were not going to finance the feeding of the squirrel community and that she was to put NO MORE food out for them.

She responded with the following "seething" letter:

In case it is hard to read, here it is "spelling errors" and all:

Dear Dad,

I don't see why you don't like squirles and birds. They are just like us, they are living we are living. Why do you thingk there diffrent! We love animals and were not going agants them! We are with them! We will help them in any way we can! We will feed them! We will biuld houses for them! We will take them into the vet if there sick! We will never go against them!

Signed: Georgia

(In blood red ink!)

PS: We will need a hammer and nails.

Please sign here:_______________________________

[The hammer and nails was reference to the "squirrel house" she was planning to build.]

Quite the little activist, eh? Quite the opposite from my anti-pet campaign! I am currently waiting for THIS to die:

Meet "Jesse the snail" Found in the yard by Bellie-the-activist and now her own personal mascot. When we googled "snail care" we came across the following:

Feeding Snails:

...Milk, lettuce, slice of apple or orange, cornmeal, cornstarch...

...DO NOT INCLUDE salt, sugar, laundry detergent, boiling water! [Thank goodness they pointed that out, because I had all of those items lined up and was just ready to toss in the jar with it!]

Anyway, so far it has miraculously survived almost 2 weeks in this house. Georgia read that snails can live up to 8 years. Here's hoping this thing is 7 years and 11 months old already...

8th Annual "Anatomically Correct" Father's Day!

Back by popular demand...the annual posting of Georgia's first hand-drawn Father's Day card! At just a mere 2 1/2 years old, she presented Eric with this *ahem* anatomically correct Father's Day portrait of Daddy. To which Eric responded by turning a deep shade of crimson and vowing to ALWAYS remember to wear a bathrobe.

Always.