Video from the Comedy Gig...

Last night I performed my first "headlining" comedy gig! I have done several stand-up bits at my own church and some sister churches but this was my very first "official" gig and it went great. I was a little nervous beforehand but I ended up driving up to the performance with 6 girlfriends. We went out to dinner first and then when we got to the place where I was performing, each one of them stopped and prayed for me before I went in.

I had written some brand new material at 2:30am the night before and I was very concerned whether I would remember it well enough, but God is faithful! I was able to recall every word and adlib some extra stuff. I think that so far - it has been my best performance yet - I was SO relieved!!!

I videotaped the whole performance which was 45 minutes long, but was not able to plug into their soundboard so the sound isn't fabulous. I edited some of it down to post on here. Enjoy...

Welcome to the Sweat Shop...

Otherwise known as a garage sale. Why-oh-why did I get amnesia just long enough to say "Why yes kids - let's do a garage sale so you can earn money for Disneyland!"

I have done 2 garage sales previous to this one in my life. Both ignited a severe distain for garage sales. Now I remember why... Where else can you work 27 hours of manual labor to earn mere pennies per hour? Ah yes - a garage sale! Can you say TEE-DEE-OUS!!!??

We spent all day on Friday sorting and pricing. "Economics 101, baby!" I suppose it was good for the kids - they actually worked pretty hard. It may have had something to do with the phrase "You better work harder than that unless you want to see me order my body weight in lattes with the proceeds..." which I kept casually mentioning. We actually had everything priced and ready by 5:30pm on Friday night. What I forgot to do was make the signs! This of course was realized when I arrived home at 11:00pm on Friday night from our Home Fellowship meeting. Somehow I managed to stay up till 2:43am that night. *insert exhaustion*

My alarm went off at 7am so I could go put signs up around the neighborhood. I actually hauled myself up at almost 7:30am and then ran around ike a crazy person. It took me 45 minutes to get all of the signs up. The kids and Hubby helped get everything outside before 9am. I decided we could make even MORE money by doing a mocha frappe stand (out with the lemonade - in with the frappes!). I made 16 frappucinnos and put them all on ice in a cooler. Georgia was the designated barista. "Look CUTE! People LOVE to buy stuff from cute kids! And use lots of manners too!"

Business started off a little slow, although our neighbor bought a frappe. We stayed outside from 9am til around 3pm and by the days end the kids had made $98. A fair amount. I would have liked to have moved more of the stuff, but that was fine.

The sale "in action".


I have to admit I hate the whole barter thing that happens at garage sales, "Would you be willing to take a quarter for this unstained Gap sweatshirt in perfect condition instead of the clearly-marked-yet-exhorbant-price of .50 cents?"

"No problem, and while you're at it - why don't you just take my kid's wallet? It's not like the sign CLEARLY STATES that they're trying to GO TO DISNEYLAND or anything!!!!!!" I know, I know - bartering is an essential part of the universal garage sale code, it just bugs me when the prices are already a steal!

After the sale, Hubby loaded everything into the van to be dropped off at the local thrift store. I believe the statement he was making was something along the lines of "That stuff is NOT coming back into THIS house!!"

The kids already had $19 each saved from selling some of their clothes at a local consignment store and breaking open their piggy banks - so, with the $24.50 they each made at the garage sale, they are now up to $43.50 each! And believe me it's a good thing they have sold so much because they certainly would not have anywhere NEAR that kind of money for spending if I'd have been handing it out.

So, the kids were pretty satisfied with their garage sale earnings. Of course, Mommy & Daddy ended up with the satisfaction of knowing that we are apparently nice enough people that we will work ourselves into exhaustion for the sake of our children's financial gain. *pats self on back*

Can I just say: I. WAS. SO. TIRED.

I haven't felt that fatigued in a while, perhaps since the last garage sale...

Alrighty folks - 13 days till Disneyland!!

I am now going to go to bed. Before Midnight. *TA-DA!!* This is my :Hubby-will-be-out-of-town-for-the-next-three-days-so-I'd -better-be-well-rested-if-nothing-else plan of attack!

And with that, she popped 2 Midol and exited stage left...

Sticky. Very, very sticky...

So, the night before last I was having this dream I was stuck & couldn't move. At one point I was in some sort of a spider's web. I finally woke myself up around 3am trying to move my right arm and found that I really WAS stuck to my bed! "What in the world??!!" I clicked on my bedside lamp and found that my right shoulder was stuck to the bed with a giant glob of sticky pink bubblegum! It was all over me and the sheet. Apparently my 98.6 degree shoulder had heated it up just enough to become the consistency of tar.

Those kids!!!!!

I spent the next 20 minutes trying scrape gum off myself & the bottom sheet. I was so groggy that it didn't occur to me to change my pajama top. I just scraped & scraped till I got a bunch of it off, put a kleenex over it - threw my pillow on top of the kleenex and passed back out!

In the morning I lined all the kids up in front of the bed and proclaimed "LOOK! LOOK AT THIS!!! DO YOU SEE WHAT IS ALL OVER MY BED?!?!?!?! What does that look like to you?!?!"

"Gum."

(They all said nervously.)

"I was CEMENTED to my bed with that gum last night!"

"I didn't do it!"

"It wasn't me!"

"I didn't even HAVE gum!"

"I did it. I didn't want my gum anymore...so I put it in your bed."

Can anyone guess what diabolical child uttered these words??!!

*I swear with the spikes in my blood pressure - it is a wonderment that I'm not put on permanent bedrest!*

Yes folks, it was Dach. My sweet little darling didn't want his gum anymore - so he chose MY bed as it's final resting place.

*clenched teeth*

"Where do we put our gum when we don't want it anymore, dear?!?!"

"In the gaw-bage."

"Is my bed the GAW-BAGE?!?!"

"No, I sorry Mommy!" And off he skips. Tra-la-la-la...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

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In other news... homeschooling is certainly overwhelming this year! Adding another kid to the mix is sending me straight to the funny farm! I can't even imagine when I have ALL FOUR kids at the table: "MO-O-O-O-OM!! I need help!...How do I do this?...What does this mean?...She has MY pencil!...He's in MY chair!...Why do I have to do this?..."

The curriculum I have this year is a little more fun that what I've done in the past but there is an ample amount of preparing for crafty/activity stuff that I seem to attack around 1am regularily! Here are pics of our 1st projects.

After learning about Eskimos we made Sugar Cube Igloos:

Just how many sugar cubes were consumed that day?? We will never know...

And then it was on to "Native Americans of the Northwest". A bounty of Dioramas:

Georgia's

Zane's

Maisie's

We are currently working on Totem Poles. *sigh* I'm feeling overwhelmed. We leave for Disneyland in 2 weeks. I can hardly WAIT to leave my schedule/guilt/stress behind and just P.L.A.Y for a while. I SO need it. Until then - I just have to gear up & get through the business of the next 2 weeks. In addition to the daily Homeschol routine/housework & meals, here is how it looks:

Tomorrow 9/22: 1st Home Fellowship meeting of the Fall / Prep for Garage Sale

Saturday 9/23: Garage Sale (for Disneyland $ for the kids) / Home Fellowship Leader's mtg in the evening

Sunday 9/24: Church / family time in the evening

{Mon - Wed: Hubby gone at Pastor's conference}

Mon 9/25: Georgia's 2 hour sewing class

Tues 9/26: Swim class/ Karate class/ mtg in the evening

Wed 9/27: Science & art classes / Awanas in the evening

Thurs 9/28: Prep for comedy gig

Fri 9/29: comedy gig at a women's retreat

Sat 9/30: Georgia's friend overnight for her b'day

Sun 10/1: Church / Georgia's b'day

Mon 10/2: Dr's Appt / Georgia's 2 hr sewing class / start writing my teaching for Women's B'fast that I speak @ on 10/21

Tues 10/3: Swim class / karate class / Hubby mtg in evening/ separate mtg for me in evening

Wed 10/4: Science & Art classes / Awanas

Thurs 10/5: Little kids art class / soccer for big kids

Fri 10/6: PACK! PACK! PACK! PACK!

Sat 10/7: LEAVE FOR DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon 10/16: Arrive back in "Reality Land"

Luckily I cut out going to the Pastor's Conference with Hubby (9/25-9/27) and my own Pastor's Wives Conference in California (10/2-10/4). In my fantasy world I thought I could do all of that but my "anchor of reality" aka: Hubby advised against it! Good thing because I don't know -->HOW<-- I thought I could do all that I'm doing AND be out of town for 3 days 2 weeks in a row right before we leave for our trip. Crazy me!

Did I mention that I baked/hand-dipped/decorated 2 1/2 dozen cookies on a stick for Georgia's Pioneer Girls group yesterday?

"Would you like to volunteer me for anything else my dear?? Perhaps something that involves paper mache & 15 hours of my life I'll never get back?!?!?!"

Ok - well I have hungry children & Hubby is at an elder's meeting so it's up to me to make sure they don't starve...

"You Gotta Keep On, Keep On..."

I informed my kids today of what act we will be performing at our church's annual talent show. Let's just say - not everyone's on board at this point.

Can you guess what fabulous talent we will be performing??? Can you even picture the incredible outfits we will be sporting??? Well, imagine no more - I will share the bounty with you...

Our outfits:

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That's right folks - it's gonna be a very Brady Christmas!!!

The jackpot is that I found a video of the song we are doing - complete with all of the dance moves that my entire family will be learning.

Resistance is futile.

Rock on my friends - rock on...

Disneyland --coupon style--

First of all, I'd like to announce that I took a trip to Albertsons yesterday. The total before my coupons and Albertsons card was $142.91. After she swiped my Albertsons card, and scanned all of the coupons, it went all the way down to $27.19 *sighs with drunken contentment* I'll be heading back there on Monday, as I only bought 40 items so far. Not nearly enough to fill our Y3K shelter! *wink*

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I spent HOURS searching airfares last night.

H O U R S

These were the options I came up with...

Option 1:

Drive to Portland – 1 tank of gas = $45

Fly Portland to Sacramento = $39 + taxes ($295.80)

Rent car & drive to LA

~~~vacation~~~

Drive back to Sacramento

Rental = $352.17

Gas in California = $150

Fly Sacramento to Portland = $59 + taxes ($415.80)

Drive home – 1 tank of gas = $45

Total = $1362.77

Option 2:

Drive to Portland – 1 tank of gas = $45

Fly Portland to San Jose = $49 + taxes ($355.80)

Rent car & drive to LA

~~~vacation~~~

Drive back to San Jose

Rental = $303.22

Gas in California = $150

Fly San Jose to Portland = $49 + taxes ($355.80)

Drive home – 1 tank of gas = $45

Total = $1254.82



Option 3:

Fly Seattle to LA = $675.60

Rent car while in LA = $204.39

Gas around LA = $50

Fly LA to Seattle = $675.60

Total = $1605.59

As you can see - flying directly from Seattle to LA is quite the fortune (for us). Hubby REALLY does not want to drive 3 hours to Portland, fly to Cal. and then drive 5 more hours and do the same thing on the way home. His thought is: just buy the dang tickets, I don't care what they cost anymore!!

But...

This morning I got up and there was a new promo through Southwest Airlines: $59 each way from Seattle to Oakland! Well, that wouldn't be too bad. We'd be able to fly directly out of Seattle and we'd only spend 5 hours driving time total each direction once we were in California. Of course - I discovered this deal 1 hour before it was going to expire. Desicions, decisions... I finally just bought the tickets. And they are non-refundable: so we are committed! The cool thing is that Hubby just got a flyer in the mail from Southwest airlines saying that any flights he takes this fall will count for triple credit on his "Rapid Rewards" account [their version of frequent flier miles] so actually after this trip, he will have an award for a free flight! YEE-HAW!! I will still be 3.5 credits away from a free flight.

So even after the car rental in Oakland and the gas $ it will take to drive to LA and back - we will still save $320 over flying directly in to LA. So, it will be a better deal!

Option 4:

Fly to Oakland = $415.80

Rent car & drive to LA

~~~vacation~~~

Drive back to Oakland

Rental = $296.01

Gas in California = $150

Fly Oakland to Seattle = $415.80

Total = $1277.61

The one deal I can't seem to find seriously slashed prices on is the admission to Disneyland. The lowest price on 3-day passes I have been able to find is: $146 for adults and $117 for kids. They just don't come cheaper than that. I have tried every internet site I could find, Costco.com, travel agencies etc...

Although my friend (who we will be staying with) has so many friends & family that visit her, has been thinking about getting Southern Cal. annual passes for her 3 kids to Disneyland. They are $149 each. If her kids had those, then she could get us in for free with her guest pass. [She can either get in her 3 dependents or 3 guests for free]. I told her we would pay $100 of each of them and she could pay the rest. That would save us $117 and then she could use them when other guests are in town. So, that is looking like the current option. So, admission to Disneyland would be $643 for the 3 days.

Then we are going to spend 1 day at the San Diego Zoo. It worked out that the month of October is "free kids month" at the zoo AND my girlfried has 1 free adult pass. So we would just have to pay for 1 adult pass at $23. I did just find a $3 off coupon. So $20 for a family of 6 at the zoo versus the normal admission price of $105 for the whole family!

So, not including food/souvineers the trip stands at:

$1940

It seems like a fortune but overall it is a much better deal than it could have been. Our airfare alone could have easily been $1400. So, with that I need to get busy on other stuff.

The Friday Happenings.

Since I have been logging HOURS at the Southwest Airlines website searching for cheap airfare to Disneyland, I have acquainted myself quite well with every page on that site. Were you aware that they are now hiring ramp agents? Maybe I could get a job there in the next 4 weeks so we could just fly free. Hmmnn...

Oh sheesh - but just LOOK at the list of qualifications. Seems a little too restrictive don't you think?

For airport security access, job seekers must have no conviction, guilty plea, or judgment not guilty by reason of insanity in last 10 years for any of the following disqualifying criminal offenses, as determined by the federal Transportation Security Administration:

Forgery of certificates, false marking of an aircraft, and other aircraft registration violations Interference with air navigation Improper transportation of a hazardous material Aircraft piracy Interference with flight crew members or flight attendants Commission of certain crimes aboard aircraft in flight Carrying a weapon or explosive aboard an aircraft Conveying false information and threats Aircraft piracy outside the special aircraft jurisdiction of the United States Lighting violations involving transporting controlled substances Unlawful entry into an aircraft or airport area that serves air carriers or foreign air carriers contrary to established security requirements Destruction of an aircraft or aircraft facility Murder Assault with intent to murder Espionage Sedition

Kidnapping or hostage taking [But what if I only did it for the money ?] Treason Rape or aggravated sexual abuse Unlawful possession, use, sale, distribution, or manufacture of an explosive or weapon Extortion Armed robbery or felony unarmed robbery Distribution of, or intent to distribute, a controlled substance Felony arson Felony involving a threat A felony involving: willful destruction of property; importation or manufacture of a controlled substance; burglary; theft; dishonesty; fraud or misrepresentation; possession or distribution of stolen property; aggravated assault; bribery; or illegal possession of a controlled substance punishable by a maximum term of imprisonment of more than one year Violence at international airports Conspiracy or attempt to commit any of the aforementioned criminal acts listed above

Guess that dashes my hopes of ever having a career in the airline industry. I wonder if ALL of the airlines have such restrictive guidelines...?

Anyway it's way less money if we fly out of Spokane, WA (just a mere 5 hour drive from here) and for a moment I actually considered it...

Driving 5 hours to Spokane (each way) sort of defeats the purpose of flying (versus driving) to LA.

Ok - then. I shall keep on the hunt. The bummer is that the first day I looked (when we were merely considering the possibility of flying instead of driving) I found flights for $179 RT (all taxes included) and by the end of the day they were back up to $219 and haven't budged. Apparently it was the "58 day low" in the price. "But it's only a $40 difference" you say. Um yeah - everything in our family is multiplied by 6, so make that a $240 difference...

And in other news...

In my right hand: this week's Albertson's ad.
In my left hand: a fistful of coupons.

Are we all familiar with this week's sale? Why let me tell you all about it:

10 for $10 -
Cheerios, Trix, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Golden Graham , Cookie Crisp, Cocoa Puffs, Soy Milk
Nature Valley Granola Bars, Go-Gurt, Pillsbury sweet rolls/refrigerated cookie dough/biscuits/pie crust
Toaster strudels/scrambles, Pop-Secret microwave popcorn, Betty Crocker Fruit Snacks, muffin mixes etc...

A good deal-io perhaps. but throw the coupons in the mix and voila - a bargain to write home about! If you register at pillsbury.com, boxtops4education.com, or bettycrocker.com, they will allow you to print out 2 copies of each coupon - many of which are for items in this sale. It brings the boxes of go-gurt down to $.62, the cereal down to $.50, the toaster strudels down to $.50 etc... I also found a site that has $1.00 off cereal coupons.

The only one of those that is on the sale is the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but the coupons make it free!

Ok - so there you go. Stock up at Albertson's and make me proud!

Perhaps I could use all the money I save on cereal to buy a plane ticket...