My big resolution...

Ok, so one of my big New Year's resolutions is to start blogging again. Even my husband has been after me to blog. I realized that because I didn't really write down any details about my life for the last year - when I went to write our Christmas newsletter, I couldn't remember anything that we had done in 2008. So I had to make it all up. No, seriously - I did.

Anyway - my goal is to blog at least once a week. But since it isn't the New Year yet and my husband is waiting downstairs for me to come and watch "The Notebook" (which I sobbed over just watching the previews) - I'll have to start on Thursday...

How I'm ever going to balance blogging and watching 24, Lost, Biggest Loser, and American Idol homeschooling is beyond me...

Natalie's blog resurrected...maybe

So, despite all signs that I had packed up and moved away in a relocation assistance program...I have merely been.....busy.

I suddenly became SUPER busy last spring when I signed my children up for every class and activity known to man - tennis lessons, pottery classes, guitar lessons, piano lessons, computer classes etc... (times 4 children). I kept meaning to write, but I got hung up in my "I have to write stories in chronological order" syndrome and then just never had time to go back and catch up.

Then came summer. You know - the time when life slows down. Apparently, I enjoy sabotaging myself because I signed my kids up for every VBS under the sun - thinking I'd have all of this alone time to complete projects around the house. What I had was, lots of shuttling kids back and forth to VBS with a small window of time in-between to frantically complete more projects than I could ever hope to.

So the summer went something like this:

Summer camp, VBS, VBS, VBS, trip to Montana, blew tire in the middle of nowhere in Montana, VBS, VBS, day at the beach, built new bunkbeds for the boys, planned curriculum for the school year, back to school.

And school this year...? *insert nervous breakdown and a few dozen lattes* Let's just say we've "ramped up". With all 4 kids now school-age, Georgia hitting 6th grade, AND joining a homeschool co-op that assigns homework like they're in graduate school... (Georgia alone has 7-9 hours of homework assigned each week) we are clinging desperately to survival mode.

I'm so tired that I even had a LOW-KEY birthday. Ok, now you KNOW its bad!

Life is good and rewarding, I'm just perpetually exhausted - I haven't found my groove with the school year yet - every week feels manic. With joining the co-op, we've lost a whole day of schooling at home and gained a lot of homework, so it's a matter of re-adjusting everything. I'm hoping that as the kids adjust to all of the changes (ie: adding classes and lots of homework) we will eventually find the groove and settle in.

I have realized, that I HAVE to make time to write down all of the craziness and the funny things in our life or I will forget them! There are SO many things that I've meant to write down over the past months and now I've totally forgotten what they were.

But now - I have to go write out everyone's schoolwork schedule for tomorrow. Georgia's history homework assignment should be coming via email from the teacher any minute now and I need to divide it up for the week so she knows what she's doing each day...

Hopefully, I'll be around more...

Jen saved the lives of my future grandchildren...

Guess what I got today??!!

My lab results from my recent doctor visit!

I hadn't been in for my yearly exam in almost 18 months and I was VERY excited to be 50 pounds less this time! For months I have been DYING to have my cholesterol checked with my "heart-healthy" lifestyle change and FINALLY had it done

Drumroll please................................

Cholesterol Comparison

	September 2006	March 2008
Total Cholesterol Desired Level under 200	183	140
HDL Cholesterol (Good Cholesterol) Desired Level over 40	28	55
LDL Cholesterol (Bad Cholesterol) Desired Level under 130	141	71
Triglycerides Desired Level under 150	70	72

I DOUBLED my good cholesterol and HALVED my bad cholesterol!!! Isn't that crazy!?!? Just by changing my eating habits. I am so excited!!! In the comments section, my doctor wrote: "What an amazing difference in your cholesterol. Keep up the great work!" <<Note the exclamation point.

I'm like the people in the Quaker oatmeal commercial!! "I LOWERED MY CHOLESTEROL 43 POINTS!! The first thing I did when I opened my results was SCREAM with GLEE and announce my heart-healthiness to my children who -except for Georgia- were disappointingly disinterested in my new lease on life!! "DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID CHILDREN?!?! I SAID I JUST ADDED AT LEAST 10 YEARS TO MY LIFE. THAT WOULD BE 10 --GOLDEN-- YEARS!!!" They'll care in 25 years when they want free babysitting...

I was so excited that I ran across the street to my neighbor's house and jumped up and down while I showed her my results - she now officially thinks I'm nuts!!

I haven't even really done much exercise - just a little here and there. Can you imagine if I started exercising consistently? I still have another 30 pounds to lose (which I plan to start working on by the end of this month). [I have been "holding" at my 50 pound weight loss for the past 4 months, but it makes me wonder what kind of impact losing another 30 pounds will have on the health of my heart.]

I am crazy-in-love with my cholesterol count. C.R.A.Z.Y. *sighs contentedly* I'm totally going to frame my results! Maybe I'll print the results on a t-shirt and wear it proudly. Thank you oatmeal! Thank you flaxseed! Thank you whole grains! Thank olive oil! Thank you monounsaturated fats! Thank you buffalo meat! But mostly...

THANK YOU JEN!!!

That's right, this all started at Jen's women's retreat last March when I met a gal MY AGE who had recently undergone open heart surgery and totally changed my thinking about the foods that I was eating. If Jen hadn't invited me to that retreat, I may NEVER have changed my eating habits and could DEAD right now! And if I hadn't changed MY eating habits - my husband may have never changed HIS eating habits. And my children might have never changed THEIR eating habits. And THEY might have passed down their poor eating habits to THEIR children. So in essence...

Jen has saved the lives of my unborn grandchildren!!!

This is exactly why I should go on EVERY women's retreat I possibly can. Who knows the impact it could have on future generations...

Your opinion please...

Today, after all of Dach's drugs kicked it - I decided we could make it to church after all. Since it was Easter and all. I was glad to not have to miss church, but I kept Dach in service with me and didn't send him to his Sunday school class just in case his ear started hurting during service. Always a joy to have a 5 year old restless boy playing with matchbox cars sitting next to you during church - ALWAYS!!

I have come to a conclusion - boys do not know how to properly whisper. They can low-talk, but they cannot seem to get it down to an actual certifiable whisper. Perhaps this is why they always get caught - they aren't ninja enough in their devious plots. Just an observation.

Well, today was THEE day that my husband said we had to get our family photo done for the church directory. A few years ago I pushed and pushed suggested that we add photos of everyone to our church directory so that we could have an easier time of matching names with faces. Since my husband is charge of the directory he finally relented sweetly said yes to my "brilliant" suggestion.

I, by my need to be in control default got the job of official "church directory photographer". So now every year I get to take everyone's photos - which I actually LOVE doing. Although I'm not so sure everyone else loves it. I am not the type of photographer that lines everyone up and takes one shot and calls it good. In my mind, it has to be "Christmas card good". So, I've been known to take up to a dozen or more shots of just one family to make sure that I get "THE ONE". I say, "Why settle for a mediocre photo if you can get a great one?" Even if it takes forever!

I've actually wanted to call people back after taking them and ask them to come in and get retakes because I just didn't get "the one". Hubby's mantra is "It's FINE - it's going to be the size of a postage stamp. It'll do!" AACK!! I rebuke that!!

Well, in my need to control all that exists around me get the perfect photo for our family - I always set the camera up on the tripod and use the self-timer for ours. *whispers - "Because I trust no one!"*

So, today we did just that. I set up the tripod and began the composition arranging and lighting stuff, and then set the self timer. Claire and her MIL and kids were there watching the whole event. Claire kept asking me "Do you want me to just take the photos for you?" "Well, I'll need to see your portfolio..." The truth is, I just hate sucking people into my photo-obsessed vortex because they are ALWAYS way done before I am willing to be. Then I am trying to force them to take "20 more shots...just in case". I get so anal about the whole thing that by the time I'm done - I've promised my kids a trip to Disneyland and alienated everyone within a 30 foot radius.

Well, here are today's results:

Option #1 - Taken by self-timer:

Pros: Good of most of us

Cons: Eric's head should be several inches closer to mine. Dach look like he has an ear infection and is on drugs *oh, wait...* Zane looks like he is pained to be there *oh, wait...*

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Option #2 - Taken by Claire:

Pros: Better of everyone

Cons: Eric's head again, Dach is fading fast

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Option #3 - Taken by Claire:

Pros: Total reality photo! *I was smacking Zane in the head because he was messing up the photo on purpose* It would be hilariously fun to have this photo in the directory.

Cons: Eric's eyes are closed and although funny - it isn't an "attractive" photo of me

Anyway - should I go humorous *I'm quite tempted* or classic...?

Vampires - yes, ear infections - no...

Tip:

If in fact you happen to be up with a sobbing child at 2am the night before Easter, and IF in fact you don't really relish the idea of sitting in an emergency room for several hours and IF in fact you "google" the phrase: ear infection home remedy...you may want to exercise caution and a sprinkling of common sense - just for good measure!

Although cloves of garlic may indeed be useful for warding off vampires and the like, it does not appear to be even somewhat helpful in the cure for ear infections! Yes folks - in my exhausted stupor last night, I followed the advice of home remedy message boards. No, I didn't PEE in my child's ear as SEVERAL people suggested, nor did I strain the juice of boiled onion and garlic and drip that imedicinal goodness nto his ear canal. No, I opted for the following:

"Take a clove of garlic and slice it into a shape resembling an earplug. Wrap a piece of gauze around it and insert the skinny end into the ear. Leave fin or several hours as garlic is a natural antibiotic and will reduce the pain almost immediately."

Well, being as I was in "sleep-deprived-willing-to-try-anything" mode - and I had already administered the maximum amount of Advil and Tylenol: I whittled a stylish garlic earplug, put my garlic-head crying child in my bed with me and hoped for improvement. The only improvement I noticed was the opening of my sinus passages.

Based on the amount of garlic permeating my bedroom all night, I'm fairly certain I should have no fear of any vampires ever gracing my presence!!

Unfortunately, the garlic seemed to do nothing for Dach's ear.

I finally managed to scrounge up the last of some tylenol w/codeine syrup *gee, wouldn't that syrup be nice on an Eggo?!* circa spring 2007. That FINALLY did the trick...but only for 2 1/2 hours. I got a hold of my doctor around 7:30am: "Good morning and Happy Easter!"

One hour later, I was equipped with: amoxicillian, a new bottle of tylenol w/codeine, and some MAGICAL numbing eardrops. Within SECONDS, the eardrops completely knocked out the pain - thus the sobbing.

Yeah folks - I'm sticking with modern medicine! Oh sure, I'll pop the occasional echinacea but I'm putting my stock in Walgreens...

My photoshoot with Robyn...

I had the PLEASURE of hosting my friend Robyn (from California) and her son last night in their way home from passport hell in Canada. Here is Robyn's take on the evening, although she was a little too kind in her description of the "rock-throwing abilities" account. *read: my boys starting a rock throwing FIGHT with her son* *shudder*

Robyn's take:

I am at Natalie's.
I feel the stress melting away.
It may be the ice cream.
It might be the Sloppy Jose's.
No. Not "Sloppy Joes". They're Mexican. Hey, hey, Jose.
Or it might be the fact that their kids seem to worship Skip, who is lapping it up like nobody's business.
How are they worshipping him? Well, the eldest daughter kept tiptoeing over to Skip, and whispering things in his ear during supper. And how was Skip receiving this worship? With a smile that was a lot softer around the edges than one might think. One might almost think that he was sweet on her.
And what of the boys? The two rough-and-tumble boys that appear to think that the sun rises and sets on Skip...
Why, they showed their adoration by showing Skip just how amazing their rock-throwing arms were.
Skip now has two large welts on the back of his head.
I told him that it would be better if they'd broken the skin. Then he could've had a bloody scar to bring back to California.
But Mr. Natalie? He had other ideas. He seemed a little upset that Skip was the target, and proceded to give the home-town boys a lecture that brought scripture into things. A snippet: "In the Bible, they stoned people, you know? And why did they do that? Because they WANTED TO KILL THEM. Do you want to KILL our guest????"
Yeah. I was trying not to laugh, too. And Skip seems pretty proud of his war wounds. He's keeping tabs on the goose eggs on the back of his head, hoping that they'll still be noticeable when he gets back to school on Thursday.

But now the kids are in bed. We'll see if they stay there. And Natalie and I will go find our make-up cases, and get all prettified, so we can take photos before The Very Last Minute.
Oh, and eat ice cream.

After the rock-throwing incident, Zane was so kind to show off his wedgie-inflicting abilities this morning to his friend and ripped Dach's underwear right off his body. Excellent we-have-company manners, just like Mommy taught you.

I gotta run the kids to swim class but here are the pics from our photoshoot:

I miss you already Robyn!!

Riveting conversations with Natalie...

A conversation with an un-named child tonight -

Me: "Go get your pajamas on"

Un-named Child: "Do I have to?!"

Me: "Um, YES - that would be why I said 'Go get your pajamas on'. Because that is what I want you to do. Right now."

Un-named Child: "Why do I have to wear pajamas, anyway? They are just like clothes. I should be able to just wear my clothes." *read: L.A.Z.Y.*

Me: *exasperated* "Because...because...well, because YOU LIVE IN AMERICA!! THAT'S WHY!!!!! Now go do it!"

Husband - (begins to laugh hysterically)

Un-named Child: "Hunh?"

Me: "You are an American! And Americans living in America wear pajamas when they go to bed. That's just the way it is here, buddy-boy. Now go put on your AMERICAN PAJAMAS and quit arguing with me!!!!!!"

Husband - (beet red and uncontrollably shaking with laughter)

Un-named Child: (reappears with pajamas, looking confused) "Um, Mom? These pajamas say they are made in Cambodia..."

Me: "JUST PUT THEM ON YOUR BAHHHHHHH-DEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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After a lengthy interrogation regarding (which will now live forever in history as) "the rock-throwing incident", I uncovered some more information which if true, would make a little more sense out of the situation. In his sworn statement, Zane stated that on the evening of March 18th, 2008, while outside and with nothing better to do, the boys starting throwing rocks up in the air, and then began throwing them higher and harder. It was in the earthward descent of the rocks that the injuries occured.

Which -if indeed true- makes a TON more sense that my children would be simply too dense to throw rocks up in the air without considering the potential results than the idea of them suddenly fast pitching rocks at a friend for fun. Which would also explain why Scott's lumps were more on top of his head then in the back. Witnesses, anyone...??

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Maisie: "Can we make a tent out of blankets and sleep in the basement tonight?"

Me: "No."

Maisie: "Can we do it on Friday night?"

Me: "Yes, but it will be based on behavior. If you do anything horrible between now and Friday - then the tent party is off."

Maisie: "You mean like take a knife and cut someone's throat open?"

Me: "Yes, that would definitely be cause to cancel the tent party, plus any and ALL parties for the rest of eternity..."

Common Sense *Optional*

I was just looking up some recipes on the internet and found the following:

BREAKFAST BURRITO RECIPE

1 medium zuchinni, sliced
1/4 lb (or so) mushrooms, sliced
1 bunch green onions, sliced
1 4 ounce carton liquid fake eggs
1/2 cup non fat cottage cheese
tortillas (optional)

That one will go right next to my Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich -bread optional- recipe.

Come on people - break out the common sense every once in a while!

I cannot comment on it any further - it pains me...

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I had a TOTAL epiphany about something this week and now I can't remember what it was...? Dang it - there I was, hovering on the cusp of brilliance and I've gone and forgotten the whole thing. One more reason why I should be writing everything down as it happens. I should just use a voice recorder when I need to remember a funny story/stroke of brilliance etc...*oddly enough, all of my embarrassing moments are PERMANENTLY seared into my brain* I just feel like a giant ding-dong when I'm recording my life on a voice recorder "Star date 03 dot 13 dot 08: My kids are whacked but in my brilliance, I have invented a device that will propel me into immeasurable fame and wealth..."

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Well, my husband has a trustee board meeting to attend tonight so he will race home to be here for an hour and then head back to the church for a few hours. Which is okay - at least we live close enough to church now that he has a little time to come home before the meeting. But here is the dilemma:

Option #1: Remain home alone with 4 children and put them to bed promptly at 8pm

Option #2: Attend homeschool meeting taking place at the church at the same time as Hubby's meeting and put my kids in the FREE childcare while I relax and hang out with other homeschool moms.

In theory, option #2 sounds more appealing -except- it requires hauling four children out of the house and into the rain and then not getting home from the church until at least 9:30pm - probably later - thus getting them to bed two hours later. I'm not a giant bedtime stickler, I just figure why not have peace and quiet 2 hours earlier if at all possible?

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I tried a really good recipe for breakfast today: Baked Oatmeal. I had never heard of it before, well - probably because up until the past year, oatmeal was never a HUGE part of my life. But, I've been trying to incorporate some variety to my children's daily routine of either cold cereal or bagels. Here is the recipe, it turned out great:

Baked Oatmeal

1 C. applesauce
1 ½ C. sugar (can reduce) - I used brown sugar
1 C. egg substitute
6 C. oats
4 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 C. nonfat milk

Combine all ingredients in order listed. Pour into greased 9x13-inch pan. Bake at 375° for 30-40 minutes until lightly browned. Can refrigerate overnight before baking. Serve topped with butter, brown sugar, and milk.

Yields: Approximately 12 servings

I cut mine into 24 servings which made just about the right sized "kid" servings. It was really good with just the tiniest amount of butter on top (less than 1 teaspoon) and a sprinkle of brown sugar. I didn't put the milk on top of it, but I did put blueberries on top and THAT was so good! I would have mixed blueberries in it, but I knew all 4 kids would have a royal freak attack if it contain "hot fruit". You could mix in raisins, or blueberries, or cranberries or just about any other kind of fruit you like. Oh yeah - I mixed almonds into the recipe before I cooked it.

I figured out the calories - not including whatever you put on top of it are: 114 calories per slice if you cut it into 24 pieces / or 228 calories if you cut it into 12 pieces with less than 1 gram of fat per serving.



[The original recipe called for oil and eggs, but I changed it to be lower/no fat.]
I got the recipe from: moneysavingmom.com which just happens to be my NEW favorite website!!

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The surprise 40th birthday party last weekend was great!! The birthday girl was COMPLETELY shocked! She thought she was going out to dinner with a friend, Kim. Kim had picked her up and said she had to make a pit-stop to drop off a meal (to a family that had 2 family members who had surgery that week -the surgery part was actually true, so she totally believed it!) There were about 35-40 people waiting for her when she came to the door! Here are some pics...

This is a shot of some of the decorations:

Here is one of me with the birthday girl:



Instead of candles, I got sparklers in the shape of a "4" and a "0". It was very festive!! Although, I would recommend lighting BOTH candles at the same time because they take forever to light and the "4" was half done by the time I got the "0" lit:

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I'll have to post pics of Zane's dragon birthday cake from a couple of weeks ago, that one actually had a smoking volcano...

Let them eat cake...

So....I LOVE the challenge of designing unique cakes and particularily have a fascination with fondant and has versatile it is. Since I am helping throw a 40th birthday party for a friend - I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to make a beautiful "grown-up" cake (since I normally am busy making "kid" cakes). I found this one online as inspiration:

I decided to change the colors and make mine a little less "busy". The color scheme of the party is pink and brown, so this is what I came up with:

After I transport the cake to the party location, I'm going to put these little wired fondant flowers and circles sticking up out of the sides of the cake:



They are very fragile, so I'm not even going to mess with trying to transport it fully assembled.

Of course, I thought this was going to be an "easy" project. *because I'm delusional* In reality, it took about 7 hours to make *how does that even happen??* I am pretty happy with how it turned out - I just wish it were a little smoother. It has several "bumpy" spots. But it looks REALLY good from about 5 feet away!! Go ahead, try it! Stand back about 5 feet from your monitor - now look it it...doesn't it look great?!!! I said:

DOESN'T IT LOOK GREAT FROM BACK THERE!?

Maybe "someday" I'll graduate to fondant expert and people will actually be able to stand in close proximity to my creations...

A new blog for a new month...

Ok, so I'm checking out different blog sites to see which one I want to use. I went to choose a blog name here at blogger.com and was SO SAD to see that "blissfullyfrazzled" was already taken! But that's MY name! My motto! How dare someone else steal my witty phrase! After about 30 minutes of being unable to figure out a different name and get signed up, I decided to GO to this thieving blogger's webpage and see just what kind of pathetic person I had lost my witty namesake to. I typed in "blissfullyfrazzled.blogspot.com" and waited for it to load - ready to pass judgement on the little thief...but WAIT!!!!!!!! What's this?!?! Why, that's MY info on the page!!! Hunh?!?!

Apparently folks - I signed up for this blog 2 1/2 years ago with my PRECIOUS blissfullyfrazzled name and forgot all about it - never even posting an entry.

"Re-YOO-nigh-ted cause it feels so goooooood..."

Wow - brilliance at its finest...

Back to the birthdays...

And speaking of themes - we are back in full birthday swing around here. Maisie's birthday was yesterday and Zane's in next Monday.

Maisie's theme was "tea party", since I had thrown a tea party for the 5th & 6th grade girls group at church and figured I could reuse some of the stuff from that. I bought each girl a tea cup at a thrift store that they got to take home after the party and I folded and stapled coffee filters into "teabags" and filled them with M&M's and made a tag with their name on and it attached to the "teabag" with string. I put one in each of the girls tea cups at their place setting and used them as placecards. Then I made a teapot-shaped cake. AND THAT WAS IT!! No tea party games, no teapot / tea cup oriented prizes or anything. All I did was decorate and bake a cake (well, I made them lunch). I tell ya - I'm losing it! It's frustrating - I have so many great and lofty themed ideas but homeschool has really ramped up each year and I seem to have less and less time to invest in these parties how I would really like to (or writing diary entries) than ever before.

The cake was slightly disasterous. I showed Maisie some teapot cakes I found online and let her pick what she wanted. She wanted a 3-D teapot shaped cake. Which I figured would be quite easy since it was 2 cakes baked in glass pyrex bowls and put together to make a ball shape. I knew the handle and spout could be tricky but figured fondant would be the answer. Yes - fondant would have been the answer if I had made the fondant shapes several days before and let them dry. Oops. I went to make fondant at 5pm the night before and discovered I was missing most of the ingredients:

water (check!)

powdered sugar (check!)

gum tragacanth (nope!)

unflavored gelatin (nope!)

glucose(nope!)

glycerin (nope!)

Now, what would a normal person do? They would go to the store and buy the ingredients or figure out an alternative to using fondant. What would Natalie do? "Well, I'm sure it would be fine without the gum tragacanth, I'm pretty sure I've made it without that before. Hmmnn, unflavored gelatin - I seem to be out. But here is a box of white-grape powdered jello. That's the same color, I'll just add three times the amount to make up for all of the sugar and extra stuff that is in it. Glucose...hmmnn...ah - corn syrup! I think glucose is just liquid sugar - I'm sure corn syrup would be fine. Glycerin, hmmnn - well, I'll just skip the glycerin - I'm sure it'll be fine!

So there you have it - I made fondant with only 2 of the ingredients it called for and tried to substitute the rest. I think I would have had half a chance if I hadn't: (A) Had about half of the amount of corn syrup that I thought I had and (B) Not have misread the amount of water and accidentally added three times the amount that it called for! I couldn't figure out why it was SO runny. Till I looked at the recipe again: "ONE QUARTER cup of water?? Oh crud - I thought it said THREE QUARTERS cup of water!!" So, I threw in several more tablespoons of jello and ended up using a total of FOUR POUNDS of powdered sugar before it thickened up. "Well, I have enough to do the whole cake and not just the spout and handle - I might as well use it." I made the spout and handle first and set them aside to dry and right before I rolled out the fondant to cover the cake I glanced over and saw that the spout and handle had sunk down into a pool of fondant. "Well, crud!"

Hubby looked at me - "Baking is a S.C.I.E.N.C.E. - COOKING is an art!! You can't add whatever you want to the recipe just because it's the same COLOR as what the recipe calls for and expect it to turn out. GO TO THE STORE AND BUY FONDANT!!!

Alas, after several worthy attempts to fix it, I had to wave the white flag and slunk off to JoAnn's at 8pm to get fondant. It actually worked fairly well, but I should have not attached the spout till the next morning giving it more time to dry as it totally sunk into itself. Here is the semi-pathic finished product:

The handle was slightly droopy and the spout was totally droppy - but the rest was okay. Maisie loved it - ah, the grace of a seven year old!!

Here is the wall next to the tea party table:

And here is a shot of the whole tea party area:

I bought Maisie a beautiful dress the night before which will be her Birthday/Easter/Thanksgiving/Christmas dress:

The blowing out of the candles:

I got this one of her spinning in the yard after the party in her dress:

My favorite photo of the day!!!

Okay - I did it, my entries are all caught up!! Now, if I can just stay current!!!

And now it is on to Zane's "Dragon / Video Game" theme party this Saturday. My goal is to maked a tall mountain or tower shaped cake and have a fondant dragon wrapped around it. Stay tuned for more insane birthday projects, coming to an overachiever near you...

To Salina with love...

Ok, now friends and family are starting to stalk me... OK, OK, I WILL write an entry!! [Salina - this for you!]

It's not that I haven't wanted to - it's that I have chronologicalitis: I can't write about events in my life out of chronological order. Thus overwhelming me that I have 6 weeks of my life to account for before I can even THINK about writing down the current stuff. Neurosis rules my life...

Ok, so - January cliff notes...

Jan 2nd - Present - Broke some or all of my New Year's Resolutions. Dang it. I'm still trying though - trying to overcome my "all or nothing" disorder.

Jan 4th - Did a stand-up comedy gig for a sister church's women's nite out. I did a brand new routine because last year (on their Women's Retreat) I had used all of my comedy material. I think they all pooped their pants when I said the word "penis" out loud at a Women's church event. Try it sometime - it gets QUITE the response! [Note - I was telling the "circumcision story"]

Jan 9th - A glorious day in the Johnson home! Dach was FINALLY old enough to join his siblings in their 2 1/2 hour DROP OFF weekly homeschool class. He missed the birthday cut-off in the fall so I was held captive every Wednesday for 3 months by the most extraordinarily talkitive 5 year old boy you could ever hope (or not) to be cornered by. Back in September, Claire was signing her kids up for this class and asked me if I was going to sign my 3 older kids up. "Um, no. I LOVE Dach dearly - but - he will make me crazy. It isn't worth the effort to drop off the three if I still have Mr. Talkative - with NO siblings to talk to!" She said, "Oh come on - it'll be GREAT!! You can have one-on-one time with him - it'll be your special time with him. I did that with my daughter the 1st year we did this and it was great! Besides - we can hang out together each week and I'll help you with him!" So, I let her talk me into this - and the very first Wednesday of the class we drop off our combined 6 kids and take Dach to "Ross Dress for Less". Wow. Dude did not stop talking for 2 1/2 hours. And I am not exaggerating - Claire's eye was literally twitching by the end of it. "Wow, you weren't kidding. I've never seen a kid talk that much - not even a girl!" And so went the next ten Wednesdays...

So, imagine the thrill in January when I walked Mr. Chatty into his class and then waved goodbye. Ah, the sounds of silence.

Jan-something - Craft time with Natalie: Eric's mom sent me a check for Christmas and with part of it, I bought this great mosaic mirror on clearance for $10 that needed some help finding its greatness. Here is a before photo:

It was missing a knob and the bottom portion was painted by someone with ZERO style.

After:

MUCH BETTER!

It's the little thrills in life...

Jan 28th - Snow day! We woke up to our street blanketed in snow. Zane overheard me say something about school closures in the area and led a mutiny in refusing to do homeschool for the day. I had to agree he made a very compelling case. After totally blowing it and not getting ANY photos of the (first in 17 years) snow on Christmas Day - I figured I'd better get out there and take some snow pics of the kids. By 10am there were 9 children out in front of our house building two huge walls of snow on either side of the street in anticipation of "The Great Snowball War".

Maisie taking a break behind the girls' snow wall.

The boys venturing out from behind their snow wall to blitz the girls.

Our sweet neighbor (the neighborhood Grandma) sent over a card table and large pot of hot cocoa for all of the kids. We had a regular soup kitchen thing going on!

Dach was sledding the driveway - the kid has no fear. "Sure stand up on a wobbly saucer and slide down an icy hill, sounds like a great plan - I'm sure that inch and a half of snow will cushion your landing!"

Jan 30th - Three weeks previous to this day, Georgia came home from Pioneer Girls and announced "Kendra and I are writing a puppet show for the Pioneer Girl talent show in three weeks. I'm going to need to make a puppet." "No problem - I don't sew and you don't sew but we'll figure it out! We've got three whole weeks - why even think about it now?

~Three weeks later~

"MOM!! The puppet show is tonight! I have no puppet!!" No problem - that's what Google is for - someone out there will come to our rescue. As usual - google delivered. It started out with "Just draw a picture and we'll glue a popsicle stick to it. Then it turned into: let's just glue some felt together and make a hand puppet. Then it was, maybe we could make it really cool and sew it!" Eventually, it went the way it always does with me and we found a website that taught us how to make an ACTUAL professional looking puppet. Well, why not - we have 8 hours before the show!!! Never mind the fact that the kids had their homeschool class that day so we didn't even get started on it till 4pm (three hours before the show). No problem - how hard can it be...? *The rhetorical question of impending doom*

Here is the puppet at 6pm (30 minutes before we had to leave for the show):

Tragic, no??!!

And here was the finished product during the show:

The thing looked like it was at death's door. It was supposed to be a game show announcer - but it looked more like the crypt keeper.

Why people?!?! Why can't I just be satisfied with the paper puppet on a stick? Why must I seek out the most elaborate and complicated version of everything?? I don't know, it is a mysterious disease for which there is no known cure.

It is the same dysfunction that causes my obsession with grandiose themes...

Christmas and New Years

So, the whole losing my car thing has died down over the past few days. Boy, did people have fun with THAT one!! The very next night I went shopping with Maisie and when we parked the van she looked at me totally deadpan and said, "Don't forget where you parked the van." Then she burst into hysterical laughter. Thank you. No really, I love being mocked by a first grader.

At church (2 days after the "incident") everyone was having a rip roarin' time recanting the story to each other. I was talking to one of the other pastor's wives when her husband suddenly rushed over to us and yelled, "HONEY!! I can't find our daughter - she's been STOLEN! Oh wait, there she is over there on the O-T-H-E-R S-I-D-E!"

Several people just walked by me and went "Heh."

I'll be handing out autographed keyrings later...

When I finally went to leave church, I opened the door to the parking lot and my van was nowhere to be found. I found my husband in HIS van across the parking lot snickering.

"You're not funny. Where's my van?!"

To which he said, "I did NOT touch your van."

""I am not crazy, I know where I parked it." *ahem - this time* "Gimmie back my van!"

"I SWEAR I didn't touch your van."

I glared at him for a moment, "Ok, then WHO did you give a key to?!?!"

To which he broke down HYSTERICALLY laughing.

"So-and-so asked me for the keys...but...snicker...he wasn't the only one...HA-HA-HA-HA...!!!" And he trailed back off into hysterics.

"I hope you pee your pants - where's my van?!!"

He had no idea where the saboteur had moved it, so we drove around in his van until we found it in a parking lot on the other side of a busy street.

Dude, he's so going down.

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Christmas was fun but exhausting. On Christmas Eve day, my mom, sisters and family came over. We had a great (predictably chaotic with our combined 8 children) time. After my family left, we let the kids open their traditional ONE Christmas Eve present. They ALWAYS hope that it is some cool toy and isn't pajamas. It is ALWAYS matching Christmas pajamas.

Our church does a late night candlelight communion on Christmas Eve and this was the first year I decided to come with all kids in tow. I made the kids wear their pajamas and slippers, to which Zane had a fit over.

The service was a sweet time, well - except when I realized that Dach is lacking in candle safety skills:

"DUDE! The candle! WATCH the candle!!"

I swear he almost went up in flames several times.

We left the church at 11:51pm. I remember this clearly because Georgia yelled out the current time in one minute increments the ENTIRE ride home:

"ELEVEN FIFTY ONE!! NINE MINUTES TILL CHRISTMAS!!!"

~one minute later~

"ELEVEN FIFTY TWO!! EIGHT MINUTES TILL CHRISTMAS!!!"

Between each announcement, the other 3 kids would sort of get that I'm-up-4-hours-past-my-bedtime glazed over look, only to be sharply jolted back into the space time continuum by the town crier...

"ELEVEN FIFTY THREE!! SEVEN MINUTES TILL CHRISTMAS!!!"

I would have stopped her but I was laughing too hard!

When we got home, I set all of the kids' clocks back by an hour hoping that would buy us some extra sleep. It sort of worked, they didn't get out of bed till 8:30am (7:30am by their clocks!)

Here are the little darlings on Christmas morning:

Too bad you can't see Dach's matching pj's, oh wait - here's one:

Here is one of Maisie when she opened her scooter:

"Hallelujah!!"

I got all of the kids razor scooters on Black Friday for $18 each. Can I just say that I am SO looking forward to packing those in the car when we go to the park and not FOUR BIKES?!?! (We have NO bike racks!)

I bought Eric a ZUNE (Microsoft's IPOD-like MP3 player) because I found it for half price. He had NO IDEA that he was getting it and I even went so far as to buy him a pair of jeans and put it in the pocket of those and wrap the jeans up as his Christmas present. He didn't look too thrilled at getting a pair of jeans for Christmas till I said, "Oh yeah - there's a little something in the pocket of those jeans..."

He was QUITE happy!

I am now a ZUNE widow.

I did find out that if you yank the headphones out of the headphone jack - the ZUNE automatically pauses whatever you were watching (movie/video) thus releasing its victim from their trance-like state! Good to know!

A sisters picture. I LOVE sisters photos!! *speaking of: "Hey Melody!! Where is that pic you took of us on Christmas Eve that was so cute?! Email it to me!!!"*

A before picture of the living room:

Aaaaaaaaaand after:

Eric gave me the pots and pans that I wanted and he surprised me with a point and shoot camera to replace my dead one so that I can have a smaller portable camera in addition to my SLR beast. Unfortunately, although it has some REALLY cool features, the image quality is terrible unless you use it in bright outdoor light or with a flash and it only has a 3x optical zoom which is pretty much like having NO zoom. Bummer. (We are sending it back, and I'm currently researching cameras for one that is at least 6x optical zoom - preferably 8x-10x, super-great in low light, and under $200. So far - it may not exist!)

So, the ironic thing is that it actually snowed here on Christmas Day and I never even got a photo of it! It was the first time in 17 years that it had snowed on Christmas Day here and I DIDN't get a photo. *kicks self*

My dad and his girlfriend came over in the early afternoon that day and stayed till the snow really started to stick and then some friends came over in the evening for a few hours.

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On New Year's Eve we had 3 families over (8 adults / 11 kids. We are ALWAYS outnumbered!!) We hung out and chatted and played our new board game "Apples to Apples" *thank you sis* while we rung in the new year. It was fairly low-key but a very fun night. I realized afterwards that I didn't take a single photo.

I actually made resolutions this year and I'm -right now at his minute- breaking my "in bed by 11:30pm and asleep by Midnight" one! Which in turn will greatly affect my "up by 7am" one. Which will set off the domino affect of making it very difficult to achieve my "read my bible and have prayer time" one BEFORE the kids get up!

Okay - to keep me accountable to accomplishing at least SOME them - here are my 2008 resolutions:

TOP 12 - 2008 New Year's Resolutions

*It was supposed to be my top 10, but I came up with 12*

1. Floss 1 time a day (We'll start with once & see if I can work up to two!)

2. Do kids favorite homeschool history curriculum 2x a week (Lots of prep work but they love it)

3. Exercise 3x a week (Going from zero to three! But a friend is making me join her gym for 90 days!)

4. Create a 4 week dinner menu plan (To make life easier and hopefully cheaper!)

5. Read bible daily with goal of reading through the whole bible in one year (Couldn't find a way to tie in the number 5 on this one!)

6. Revamp family chore charts for the 6 of us & implement (I'm halfway there! Hopefully this will keep our house on track!)

7. Out of bed by 7am (*chants self pep talk: "7am is NOT the middle-of-the-night..."*

8. Drink 8 glasses of water a day (That would be instead of 3 cups of coffee & ONE glass of water daily!)

9. Stick to food budget of $90 per week (Meal plan and resist impulse buys!!!!!)

10. Spend 10 minutes in uninterrupted prayer: morning, afternoon and evening (AKA: LOCKING the bathroom door!!)

11. In bed by 11:30pm (asleep by 12am) (No more late nights...after tonight...)

12. Stick to a monthly budget for 12 months (The year of "NOT". Not justifying purchases that aren't in the budget!)