Oh, YEAH?! HA!!!

A conversation I just overheard:

Scene opens with various screaming & threatening...

Bellie: "...Oh yeah - well I'm the boss of you!! And I'm TALLER than you! And when I'm 10 - you'll only be NINE!!!!!!!!! And when when I grow up - I'm gonna MOVE OUT! And when you come over to visit, I'll look out my window and see that it's you - AND I WON'T EVEN OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA!"

Captain Hazard *unfazed*: "Oh yeah - well, I'll just break your door down & come in anyway! HA!"

Welcome to the house of love...

Hola - meet El Dorko!

Tonight during the home fellowship/married couples bible study that we have at our house, I suddenly turned to the group and said the following:

"OH!!! Guess what?! When we meet in 2 weeks it will be Cinco de Seis!! We should do a Mexican theme!!"

The [fluent Spanish speaking] hispanic gal in our group slowly says, "Five of Six?!"

"WHAT? No. You know - the day after Cinco de Mayo...Cinco de Seis!!" *um hello, non-multilingual people - try to keep up here!*

(At this point the entire group burst out laughing & began to openly mock me in my confusion.)

Through her laughter she responds, "Cinco de Seis means 'Five of Six'. I think you mean Seis de Mayo, as in 'Sixth of May'."

"Hmmnn...let me check my Moron English/Spanish Dictionary - perhaps you are correct."

I think any career dreams of "Goodwill Ambassador" to Mexico are fading fast...

Jen's 30th - The pre-game, the event & the pics..

On Sunday we had Jen’s “surprise” 30^th birthday party. And what a party it was!! The theme was...*drumroll please*...

SEINFELD

I was sort of “co-throwing” the party with her hubby. I (as you all know) am the obsessive-everything-has-to-match-and-be-WAY-over-the-top kind of party thrower. Jen’s hubby is the I’ve-never-thrown-a-party-before-and-could-we-please-keep-it-simple kind of party thrower! Needless to say - we are party throwing match made in heaven! *NOT* I think I drove him to the brink of insanity with my NUMEROUS suggestions!

He actually did really well - it was so outside his comfort zone, and he really stayed on top of everything! He did send out a plain text email as the invite which I daresay “traumatized” me. Although it probably did manage to add a couple of years to my life by not having to pull a couple of all-nighters trying to make 50 over-the-top elaborate themed invites! But I may just have to make 1 bee-you-tee-ful one for Jen’s scrapbook!

When I asked him about the cake - he said “Unless you have any ideas, I was just going to go to Costco.”

STOP.

RIGHT.

THERE.

No ordinary sheet cake would do! Not for JEN’S birthday! I offered to make the cake - since I had the perfect cake pictured in my head!

 I had planned to make the cake on Sat (the day before the party) but my back went out that morning & it hurt to stand up so I got a late start on making it. In essence, it was 7pm before I really started on the project!

My goal was to construct a giant 3-D television-shaped cake. It actually ended up turning out looking great! The only downside was the time-consuming nature of the project. By the time I finished that & all of the other party prep - it was 3:08am when I went to bed!

And with all the perfect timing in the universe…Dach woke up crying at 3:18am. We kept trying to comfort him but he would only settle down for a few minutes at a time & then start back up again. By 5am I was sitting next to his crib sobbing, “What is it?! Are you sick? *no response* Do you have an owie? *no response* P-L-E-A-S-E  stop crying - Mommy is SO tired!” He just laid there crying, “I’m *sob* sorry Mommy!” Poor baby! He FINALLY said, “I have an owie on my ear - I need a bandaid!”

EAR INFECTION!

I waited till I thought the pharmacies would be open & then I called the DR’s office for the on-call Dr. to see about getting some amoxicillin called in. The Dr. said that was fine & then says, “I need the phone number for the pharmacy that you’d like that called into.” Hunh? For some reason I thought he possessed some magical pharmacy phone list. “Um…uh…let me get that…” I shuffled through some old RX’s  & came up with Target’s pharmacy number. At that time it was probably 9:20am or so. I figured if I got over there around 10:15am - 10:30am - that would give them time to get the RX ready so I wouldn’t have to wait at the store with a sobbing toddler.

I got there at 10:30am and -lo and behold- the pharmacy wasn’t even open!! The pharmacy didn’t even open till 11am! And of course, Dach was sobbing over his ear. It was pointless to go home just to turn around & come back - so I opted for the “wander around Target with a sobbing toddler for ETERNITY 30 minutes” plan. Of course when I arrived at the pharmacy counter at 11:00:02am, they hadn’t even gotten the prescription off of their answering machine yet. “Come back at 11:25am, and we’ll have it ready for you.”

*blink*

“Excuse me? What was that? I’m sorry…I couldn’t hear you over my SCREAMING TODDLER!!”

“Perhaps you could put an urgent rush on that! An “expedited” sticker, if you will.” *Am I just RX ignorant, or do we just need to add water to powder & print out a label for this? Excuse me world - I’m having a hard day, so could you please stop for me?!*

About 11:15am - Dach suddenly stopped crying & announced “My ear is all better now.” Poor baby - his eardrum must’ve burst a hole from all that pressure. *The doctor actually confirmed that the next day.* So, he was happy as could be by the time we actually got the RX. *insert irony*

Of course, by the time I got home - I was supposed to be leaving to help decorate & throw Jen’s party.

*Excuse me sick child - you are slightly cramping my party-throwing style*

Hubby raced home from church to relieve me from the kids & agreed to stay home with them while I did the party. (We had to cancel the babysitter - since we thought she may not be thrilled to spend 6 hours with Mr. Scream-a-holic.) So, hubby had to miss the party. I was so bummed about that because it was a Seinfeld costume party & we were supposed to be going as George’s parents (Frank & Estelle Costanza). I ended up deciding to go as one of Jerry’s girlfriends -Gwen-. She was the one who looked really pretty in certain lighting - and ugly in other lighting. So, I just did half of my make-up & hair.

We decorated in the Seinfeld theme with Tweety Pez dispensers, Junior Mints, Cereal Boxes, Jujyfruits, and Seinfeld “quotes”. We served soup, marble rye & muffin tops. We also had chips & dip and made sure we had a sign about “double-dipping” next to that area of the table.

My 6, 4 and 2 years olds are currently sucking the very life out of my brain as I try to write this, so I’m just going to finish this with the mindless task of posting pics…

The cake:

 Jen with her cake:

Junior Mints Display:

Table Decorations:

Soup Display:

Muffin Tops:

Double Dip:

SUPRISE!! Guess what I bought last week...?!

This may be quite the shocker...
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Perhaps you are as suprised as hubby was!!!
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This was -of course- all part of the abuse-a-thon April-Fool-a-thon I had planned for hubby!! I colored in the lines to show a positive test & then left it in the the bathroom for hubby to wake up to on April Fool's Day!! I figured that if I did it 1st thing in the morning - he might not remember that it was April Fool's Day! Sure enough...

"WHAT IS THIS?!?!?!?!?!??! ARE YOU PREGNANT?!?!"

UTTER.

HORROR.

"Remember how tired I've been lately...?" [In preparation for "the big day" I'd been telling him all week how tired I was, & how I just couldn't figure out why I was so exhausted!] He went into total & complete panic mode. He was grabbing his head & freaking out! I was going to keep him going for a while but he started to look like he might cry and breathing funny like an asthma attack might be imminent.

So, being the sensitive & caring person that I am...I said:

"APRIL FOOL'S!!!!!!!!!"


DUCK. AND. COVER.

He no think me funny.

I could not stop laughing! He would hardly even speak to me for several minutes! Then he got paranoid,

"WHAT ELSE DID YOU DO?!?!"

"Honey, you are getting paranoid! It's just a little joke!"


I didn't have the heart to tell him what else I'd done while he was sleeping...
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[*aside* The black strap is part of the C-PAP machine he uses for his sleep apnea *end aside*]


"Bye honey, have a nice day at work!"

Actually, it wasn't this vivid by morning. It had faded so badly that the word "April" wasn't even hardly visible.

So all it really said was.....*giggle*........"FOOL"!

Sadly, even the word "fool" was faded so that you could just barely see it. No one in his office even noticed all day! I did have to call & tell him at the end of the day because I wanted him to stop at the store on the way home & I knew he would REALLY be mad if he found out later that he had stood in line at Safeway with the word "FOOL" tatooed on his head!

"Hi honey - could you stop at the store on your way home? Great thanks...um....you....*giggle*....might want to.....*snort*......um..........wash-the-back-of-your-head-before-you-go-okay-then-bye!!!!!!"

"WHAT?!?!?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HEAD?!?!?!?!"

He really no think me funny...

EASTER PICS...

EASTER PICS
The girls baking Easter cookies



The kids right before their Easter egg hunt.



Chia was quite thrilled with her find!



Me with the girls.

Photo post-athon...

So, I finally uploaded all of my recent photos to Snapfish. Some highlights:

Photos from a women's retreat with Jen

A serene moment on the beach.


 
Do you like my "Super-Fro"? I tried it out at the fancy-schmancy resort where the retreat was held. Nothing like walking through the lobby of a snooty resort sporting a disco ensemble!



Jen declined my offer to join me in some synchronized swimming routines.

Another chapter in "Do Not Leave Unattended":

"Do not attempt to cook dinner while small children are left outside playing near the recycling box"

Only 10 minutes - to spread 300 pieces of paper around the outside of the house...